


One Hell of a Mess

by akimbo628



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Claude needs to chill, Drinking, Everyone is around the same age, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, I promise, Jealous Sebastian, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Nightmare Before Christmas References, Or Is It?, Other, Partying, Pining, Thirsty Claude, Unrequited Love, a bit of smut, a love decagon essentially, everyone is human, forget love triangles, it will all be over soon, smutty epilogue, trust me seeing Sebastian and Ciel with other people is painful for me too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-08-24 08:23:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8364961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akimbo628/pseuds/akimbo628
Summary: A tale as old as time: Person A loves Person B, but Person B loves somebody else.Or so Person A (i.e. a certain Ciel Phantomhive) thought.Watch as Ciel pines over his leading man, Sebastian Michaelis, as he further entangles himself into the messy spiderweb that he calls his life.





	1. The One Where Sebastian Cockblocks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! Since I'm currently in university, updates might be inconsistent, but I've been feeling the writing itch as of late so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. This is my first shot at a Black Butler fic, I hope you all like it! Please do let me know what you think!! Thank you :3
> 
> Also, just so you guys know, there will be some smut in this chapter (not between who you want it to be unfortunately), I hope you guys don't mind :)

Ciel Phantomhive waited out on the curb by his apartment building for his friend Alois to come pick him up. The duo was supposed to go out drinking tonight at Bard’s Bar, as per usual for any local college student on a Wednesday night since it was the bar’s “college night.” In this moment, Ciel was eternally grateful that it was only September and the chill of fall had not yet reared its head, for the outfit that he was wearing (a dashing little navy blue number that his roommate Grell picked out for him; “It matches your eyes!” she had exclaimed as she threw the top onto Ciel’s bed along with his black khaki shorts) would have left him freezing as he waited for Alois to get his shit together.

Ciel sighs in exasperation as he checks his phone: 11:43. They had agreed to meet up around 11:30, what was taking him so long? Finally, a sleek cherry red mini cooper pulls up onto the campus lot. Alois revs the engine as he stops in front of Ciel and rolls down the window, shouting, "Get in loser, we're going cruising!"

Ciel climbs into the little car as he grumbles irritably, "What the bloody hell took you so long, Trancy?"

Alois grins smugly as he retorts, "What? A chap needs to look good if he wants to get laid!" Alois begins to speed away from the school parking lot as he gives Ciel a wink.

"I thought we were just going out for drinks?" Ciel scrunched up his nose in disgust; he wasn't particularly fond of either picking up men in bars or third-wheeling.

"Oh, we are. But if we happen to catch a couple of fine specimens while we're there, that wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

Ciel simply sighed in lieu of a response; Alois had been like this ever since his breakup with Claude. Sure, the breakup was messy, and Ciel was all for fooling around and letting loose after ending a relationship—in fact, he was still doing that himself due to his own recent breakup—but Alois was a little more...complicated...than that.

Alois was still so hooked on Claude that anytime he tried to find someone new, it usually ended up with the guy leaving his apartment the next morning without so much as leaving a number when all Alois wanted was someone to cuddle and commit to. So, Trancy would just pretend that the casual dating scene was his thing so the rejection would hurt less.

Ciel felt bad for his friend, he really did.

But in truth, Trancy should've seen Claude's infidelity, and ultimately the demise of their relationship, coming.

Because Claude Faustus was the sluttiest man in their class.

Which Ciel might be currently taking advantage of at the moment.

But Alois didn't need to know that.

As Ciel was pushing ugly images of him and Claude's recent "activities" out of his mind, the boys had finally pulled into the lot of Bard's.

"Alright, let's get shitfaced!" Alois exclaimed as he got out of the car with an already 100000% done Ciel.

The boys walk into Bard's and beeline right for the bar. Alois orders some fruity martini thing while Ciel settles for one of the better quality beers on tap. The bar is what you would typically expect: the buzz of conversation blocking out the music playing overhead, students crowding around the pool tables and the bar to order drinks and hit on pretty women, Claude Faustus striding towards Ciel with a pompous grin on his face.......

_Claude Faustus striding towards Ciel with a pompous grin on his face?!_

The bluenette began to panic internally as he tried his best at keeping a calm and cool demeanor in front of Alois—who still happened to appear completely oblivious of the current situation.

”Well, if it isn’t Ciel Phantomhive.”

Alois turns around at the sound of a hauntingly familiar voice. For a brief moment, Ciel can see the twinge of pain flit in his eyes, and then it was gone.

”Claude!” Alois exclaimed with feigned excitement, enveloping his ex in a full-body, overtly-long hug, “It’s so good to see you!”

”Alois.” Claude had stiffened at the sudden contact from his ex-lover, but then relaxed as his gaze fell upon Ciel with a look that was practically screaming _help me._

Ciel simply rolled his eyes and looked away. That’s when he noticed that Claude had a companion along with him, an incredibly handsome one at that. _At least someone will be getting some tonight I suppose._

To be honest, the idea of Claude seeing other people didn’t bother the bluenette at all. Ciel and the other man actually had made a deal at the beginning of the school year that they could use each other for sex and fooling around without the commitment of a relationship. It had been going pretty well so far. Ciel would come over to Claude’s place when his ghost of a roommate was not around (because Grell was _always_ at their own place with her boyfriend, William) for a good time and then Ciel would leave without a trace. They never needed or felt the desire to call each other or ask about each other’s day, there would never be issues with infidelity because of the lack of commitment. It was a pretty sweet setup, and Ciel could take it or leave it. _Ah, the beauty of being single._

Claude had seemed to follow Ciel’s stare and immediately straightened in attention. “Oh, Ciel, Alois, have either of you met Sebastian? He’s my ever elusive roommate, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this was your first time seeing him.”

 _His roommate?_ Ciel eyed the tall, gorgeous man standing next to Claude. He was truly—as Trancy would put it—a fine specimen. Sebastian had long black hair and ivory skin that looked as smooth and pristine as marble. Even with his physique quasi-hidden by a black blazer, it was plain to see that man worked out. And those _eyes._ They sparkled like two garnet gems that held the world’s deepest, most vile secrets.

”Always the flatterer, Claude. It’s a pleasure to meet you both, and whatever he’s said about me I can assure you that he is _lying._ ”

Ciel’s mouth went a tad bit dry. _That voice, it’s like it’s dripping with sex._

Sebastian and Claude seemed to be having fun teasing each other, laughing and making witty comebacks to the other’s scathing remarks. Alois tried and failed to follow along with their discussion, so he just laughed along whenever the two did. Ciel threw back the rest of his beer to regain some composure.

Alois notices the lack of alcohol in both his and Ciel’s possession and decides that that simply won’t do, saying, “Oh Ciel, you lush! Come on, let’s get more shots! You interested, lads?”

Sebastian and Claude concede and take part in the first few rounds of shots—and Ciel had maybe a few more—and then decide to uncomfortably sit back and watch Alois down a total of eight or nine shots. Ciel would be understating it if he were to say that tonight was not going according to plan.

Ciel resigned himself to babysitting the incredibly drunk Alois as he watched Claude and Sebastian play pool. The three had spent half the night talking about pretty much anything and everything. For someone who seemed so austere at times, Sebastian seemed like a pretty nice guy. He was a Psychology major with big dreams of helping people with addictions. All Ciel was in school for was Business in order to follow his father’s footsteps as CEO of the Funtom Corporation. So he found Sebastian’s pursuits rather noble. And perhaps a little charming…

As the bluenette observed his lover and his roommate, Alois began to mutter obscenities under his breath as he practically glared at Claude. Ciel debated whether or not Alois had finally gone insane. Then Alois confirmed his suspicions when he said, or slurred, rather loudly:

”’m so alone, Ciel. Claude broke my fuckin’ heart and now I ‘ve no one. I loved ‘em, and he left me,” his rant was interrupted by an obnoxious hiccup, “No one is ever gonna love me, Ciel.”

The game of pool came to an abrupt stop as Claude looked away from Alois, looking flustered and exceedingly uncomfortable. Sebastian bit his lip as he watched Claude with a concerned expression. Ciel huffed out an audible sigh as he patted Alois on the shoulder and tried to calm the blond down.

Sebastian was the first to cut into the awkward silence, offering, “Why don’t we take you both home? It’s been a long night, and I don’t know about you guys, but I have an 8 a.m. class tomorrow, so…”

”I think that’s a splendid idea, Sebastian. I’ll get the car,” Claude ran out of the bar before anyone could even give him an answer.

Sebastian, too, must be gifted in the language of cynicism, because he and Ciel simultaneously rolled their eyes at the embarrassing displays of their friends that night.

Once Sebastian received a text from Claude saying that the car was out front, Ciel rose to help Alois, but Sebastian insisted that he take care of the drunken blond. So, he helped the heavily imbibed boy off his feet and out the door as Ciel shook his head in annoyance and followed.

**…**

After Alois deposited back into his home near campus, the three drove together in silence to the school’s apartment lot. As the men got out of the car, Claude looked over at Ciel with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

”Ciel, I know your apartment is near ours, so maybe you’d like to come over for a little after party at our place?” Claude licked his lips as he looked the bluenette up and down in sudden resolute interest.

 _Oh, so that’s what he wants._ “Sure,” Ciel said as he shrugged his shoulders; it’s not like he had anything better to do tonight. And he did get dressed up after all…

It happened for only a second, but Ciel couldn’t help but notice the quirk of Sebastian’s eyebrow and the slightest widening of his eyes and he realized what was being implied. But before he could blink, the man’s facial expression was gone. Ciel suddenly felt very self-conscious.

The trio started heading for Claude and Sebastian’s apartment, their idle chitchat filling the silence of the campus. Ciel figured it must have been around 1 a.m. considering how vacant their surroundings were.

The boys finally made it inside the well-furnished apartment. The lounge area was very bright and cozy with warm golden lighting and a few couches and loveseats adorned with pillows surrounding the television.

”Please, make yourself comfortable, Ciel. I’ll go get us some whiskey,” Claude says with a low voice in an attempt to be alluring.

Sebastian feigns disgust and adds, “Really, Claude? Whiskey? Wouldn’t wine be more refined?”

Claude’s already in the kitchen, but he hears his roommate’s objection anyway. “Always the wine snob, Michaelis. But, I dare say that you’ve mentioned me not touching your wine collection?”

”Well, we have a guest. This is…a special occasion.”

Ciel felt his cheeks burn slightly at the thought of his presence being a _special occasion._ “Whiskey’s fine, really. I don’t want to impose.”

Sebastian flashed the bluenette a genuine smile and he insisted, “Oh no, it’s no problem at all.”

Claude finally emerged with two filled wine glasses, giving one to Ciel as he said, “I already poured the glasses anyway. It’s fine.”

Sebastian raised his brow at Claude as he took a long sip from the other wine glass. “I see you have brought only two wine glasses, Claude?”

Claude tilted his head in confusion at his ravenette roommate. “Well, I thought you were turning in…Don’t you have an 8 a.m.?”

Sebastian seemed to be considering his next move. Ciel sat at the nearest loveseat as he sipped at his wine. He wasn’t sure if he was either bewildered or annoyed. Maybe both.

Both. Both is good.

Sebastian chewed at his lip and then smirked as he finally retorted, “I know, I know, it’s just that the night’s still so young and I just met your good friend. Don’t you want us to be friends too?”

Ciel’s eyes widened as he was once again brought up into the conversation—or squabble, if you prefer. That’s when he realized that his wine was already gone.

Claude, however, seemed to have had enough of whatever Sebastian was up to. “Michaelis, look at the time,” Claude pulled out his phone which revealed that it was just shy of 1:20 a.m., “I swear if you sleep through your alarm tomorrow, I’m _not_ going to wake your ass up.”

Sebastian sighed and admitted defeat, “Alright, alright, another time then,” he looked over to Ciel with a soft smile and—the alcohol must be taking effect because Ciel swears that he sees _concern_ in his eyes? “It was a pleasure meeting you, Ciel. I hope to see you around a lot more often,” and with that he gave a small wave and went to what presumably was his bedroom.

When Claude finally tuned to face Ciel, the annoyance that was once there was slowly melting into desire. He seats himself next to Ciel on the loveseat and croons, “Now, where were we?”

Suddenly, Ciel has forgotten his wine glass and dropped it on the cushion beside him as Claude climbs on top of him, nipping and licking his neck. Ciel begins to feel his shorts tighten as the heat of Claude’s clothed erection rubs against him. 

Ciel begins to moan in want as he rocks his hips against Claude’s. Claude is ow completely straddled on top of the bluenette, grinding his hips down on him as he nibbles on the boy’s ear. In between nips, Claude whispers seductively as he thrusts against Ciel’s hard length, “Do you want this inside you? Hm?”

Ciel moans out louder in frustration as his shorts become unbearably tight. He grabs Claude’s ass right before he begins to unbuckle the man’s pants. Claude chuckles darkly as he begins working at Ciel’s own shorts.

Ciel gasps as he finally feels his erection break free, precum already beading on his pink tip. Claude looks down at the sight hungrily and licks his lips right before he slowly slides his tongue up and down Ciel’s length, making Ciel shudder with need.

Ciel decides that he’s done with playing around and tugs at Claude’s pants, trying to get the point across. Claude seems to take the hint and removes his pants and boxers, his large, throbbing length bobbing free. He, however, has decided that he’s not done with his tormenting teasing of the smaller man.

Claude takes his length in his hand and ever so slowly rubs the tip against Ciel’s hole. Ciel moans and pulls at the fabric of the loveseat as he writhes desperately in want. Seemingly pleased with this reaction, Claude applies the slightest bit more pressure to his head against Ciel’s skin as he swirls it around, making it dance around the other boy’s entrance.

Through the haze of the alcohol, Ciel realizes where this is going. However, his mind is not foggy enough for him to forget an important factor.

In between heavy pants, Ciel utters out, “Do you have a condom?”

Claude does not seem perturbed by this; instead, he keeps massaging Ciel’s entrance with his slick head. He finally says in a husky tone. “Do you really want me to leave to get one right now?”

”Well,” Ciel represses a moan, he is _not _being talked out of this, “Yea.”__

Blatantly irritated by this, Claude huffs out a sigh and puts his briefs back on to go fetch a condom. Ciel doesn’t really care if he’s annoyed by this or not; there is no way that Ciel Phantomhive is sleeping with the sluttiest guy on campus without some form of protection.

A few minutes later, Claude returns empty-handed. “I seem to have run out of condoms, _your highness_.”

Ciel rolled his eyes at this and said, “I told you to never call me that. And I guess that means no sex for you tonight.” With this he pulls up his boxers and shorts and heads for the door.

Ciel is quick, but not quick enough to avoid Claude grasping his hand and pulling him close. “Another time then?”

”Sure,” Ciel says indifferently, thinking about just wanting to be in his own bed with his own thoughts.

”May I walk you home?”

Ciel shrugs his shoulders, trying not to show shock at the expression of chivalry. Claude then opens the door for the other boy and they head towards Ciel’s apartment building.

When they finally reach Ciel’s apartment door, Claude pulls Ciel in close and gives him a passionate kiss. He breathes out a “Goodnight, Ciel” as he squeezes the smaller man’s hand and leaves the complex.

Ciel had to admit, Claude was a good kisser.

Among other things.

But as Ciel brushed his teeth and quickly showered to rid himself of the sex smell on his skin, as he changed into a ratty t-shirt and shorts, and as he laid his head down on his pillow and set his alarm for the next day, he couldn’t help but think of sparkling garnet.


	2. The One Where Ciel is Intimidated by Hannah’s Excess

Another few weeks pass by. Ciel, Claude, and Sebastian—to Claude’s chagrin—have been going to Bard’s together every Wednesday. Alois told Ciel that he’d be avoiding the bar entirely from now on so that he could get over Claude, and Ciel agreed that that was probably for the best (mostly because he didn’t want his comradery with Claude and his gorgeous roommate to be discovered, but Alois didn’t need to know that).

Despite all of the time that Ciel was spending with Claude as of late, the bluenette was avoiding doing anything too physical with him. All that Ciel would allow was a kiss in front of his door after Claude would walk him home from his own apartment. Ciel was certain that his lover was confused by this, and, frankly, so was he. There was just something inside him that was telling him that Claude might not be what he’s looking for after all.

Ciel had to indeed admit, in complete truth, that he was no longer sure of what he wanted from Claude. Did he want a lover? Did he want another meaningful relationship? Did he just want some new friends along with a new lifestyle? Or was he doing all of this because he was simply bored? He had spent so much time ignoring the _why_ behind his actions, but something coming from deep within him was finally provoking him to find the answer.

Ciel had a gnawing suspicion that Claude’s roommate—and perhaps he could even dare to say his new friend—Sebastian had something to do with this. The ravenette was always asking Ciel all kinds of questions. However, they never seemed to be irrelevant. In fact, these probing questions almost seemed to be for the sake of analysis of Ciel’s character. Whatever comment or observation Ciel would make, Sebastian always asked _why_ he felt that way or _why_ he held certain beliefs. Under the curious gaze of those sparkling deep red eyes, Ciel always felt compelled to answer, and always bore more of his soul to the man than he would have liked. He assumed that it was the Psychology major in Sebastian that caused this. What else could it possibly be?

Now it’s Friday night and Ciel is performing his usual Friday night ritual: laundry, sweets, and reading books online. Despite his active night life on Wednesday nights, Wednesday nights are where his activity remained.

Just as Ciel was about to dive into a Twix, he heard the Facebook notification sound go off on his laptop. Ciel quirked his brow in curiosity; he usually had Facebook open in a tab out of habit more than anything, and he never really received notifications unless his group chat with his friends from home, Lizzy and Soma, was active.

The boy checked the tab; it appeared that he had a friend request from a certain Sebastian Michaelis. Ciel immediately recognized the name and the handsome face in the profile picture and accepted the request. Shortly afterwards, a chat bar in the corner of the page with Sebastian’s name and three moving dots popped up. Ciel’s eyes widened in horror and, for some reason, excitement as the message notification finally dinged. He opened the chat, and promptly read:

> **Hey! Do you want to come over? We’re having a small gettogether!**

Ciel chewed on his lip in contemplation as he glanced down at the pile of candy on his desk and then back at the computer screen again. He released an exasperated sigh in defeat as he read the time at the corner of his desktop: 10:47. He was going to need some time to actually look presentable; he was certain that his “weekend bum clothes” wouldn’t do.

> **Sure! Is 11 okay?**

The messenger dinged shortly after, saying:

> **Sounds good! See you then :)**

Ciel then quickly jumped out of his bed and dove into his closet to find something suitable to wear. A peculiar wave of excitement crashed over the boy, which was then followed by a wave of suspicion. Why was Sebastian the one who was messaging him and inviting him over? Wouldn’t Claude have done it if he wanted him over, he does have his number after all…

Ciel then decided to ignore the aching suspicion that was throbbing in the back of his mind as he got ready. He quickly shoved a candy bar or two down his gullet before heading out the door since he assumed that drinking would be taking place.

The now decently dressed boy eventually approaches the front door of Claude and Sebastian’s apartment at approximately 11:03. He lightly knocks on the door and is greeted with loud, raucous chanting and laughter from what seemed to be at least twenty people. Ciel rolls his eyes and decides to knock a second time, this time being much louder than the first attempt. _Small gettogether my ass._

A few moments later, the door swings open and reveals a scantily dressed Claude with a red plastic cup in his hand. The laidback expression on his face melts into one of confusion and subtle anxiousness as he realizes who was knocking at his door.

“Ciel,” Claude starts, attempting to recover, “What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here tonight?”

Ciel’s brows furrowed in annoyance. “…Sebastian invited me.” Shouldn’t Claude have known that he’d be coming?

Just as the awkwardness was about to set in, Sebastian came up to the door and grabbed Claude by the shoulder with a knowing smirk. “Ciel! Glad you could made it! Come on in,” he clears the doorway and Ciel timidly walks in, “Can I get you something to drink?”

Sebastian and Ciel walk past a stunned Claude as Sebastian grabs the bluenette a glass of wine that he insisted that he should try. As Claude processes the exchange, he takes a moment to devise how to amend the situation. As an idea flashes into his mind, a grim smirk spreads across his face.

Ciel slowly sips at the red wine in his glass as he listens to Sebastian explain to him the distinctive notes of the wine. Ciel nods his head absentmindedly. _Wow, he really_ is _a wine snob._ Ciel looks down at the wine and considers how it matches the color of Sebastian’s eyes. He feels his face become a little flushed.

The boy is broken out of his reverie as he hears Claude begin to shout something that sounded like instructions to a game.

”Okay everyone, get into groups of two so we can play,” Claude announces, then he looks Ciel’s way, “Ciel, want to be my partner?”

Ciel asks skeptically, “For what exactly?”

”Why, beer pong of course!” Claude’s smile is absurdly broad, almost mocking even.

”I’ve never played,” Ciel admits.

”Well, then you’re going to need a pro as your partner then, good thing I’m available,” Claude said with a wink, “Are you up to the challenge?”

Ciel never turned down a challenge, so he relented. “Sure, I suppose I can give it a try.”

Claude seems pleased by this, and he then stares pointedly in Sebastian’s direction. “Excellent! Are you in, Michaelis? I’m sure you could find someone to play with,” he offers in an self-righteous tone.

Sebastian’s usual complacency transforms into something grim and unamused. “I’ll pass, Faustus, but thanks for the offer,” he says as if he’s bored with Claude’s game, then he turns to Ciel with a cheerier countenance, “I can be a cheerleader, I suppose.”

And so the game of beer pong ensues, and it turns out that Ciel is _really_ good at it. Ciel is shocked when he discovers that he actually won the game for himself and Claude despite the slew of avid drinkers involved in the game. Ciel comes to the conclusion that Claude is equally surprised due to the look of sheer awe on his face. Claude runs up to Ciel and brings him into a long, tight hug.

And then Ciel feels a hand on his ass.

A hand. On his ass. In a room full of people.

Ciel feels his face burning up as he quickly frees himself from Claude’s handsy embrace. Ciel looks around and realizes that no one even noticed, probably all being too drunk to pay attention or care. And yet he felt as if a pair of eyes were burning into the back of his head. He suddenly remembers who was seated at the couch behind him. _Sebastian._

Ciel wanted to die.

The bluenette slowly turns to find a certain ravenette absolutely _simmering._ Ciel gulped, figuring that Sebastian must be as embarrassed about this as he is. He could hear Claude laughing behind him.

Ciel was not amused.

Despite his displeasure with that part of the night, Ciel stayed for the whole party. Eventually the party crowd dissipated, leaving only the few closer friends of the hosts near the end of the gathering.

At this point, Sebastian had suggested that the small group play a drinking game called Truth or Drink. Essentially, someone had to ask a question, and everyone had to answer honestly or they had to take a shot. Ciel was not what one would call an open book, but since most of the questions were more sex-oriented, he couldn’t really find himself to care about sharing.

It was now Claude’s turn to ask a question to the group. Ciel voluntarily took a shot to prepare himself for impact.

Claude looked around the room while wearing a coy smile before he asked, “Okay, so where is the craziest place that you’ve had sex?”

People’s answers were pretty basic, nothing too wild. Ciel debated whether or not to say it was Claude’s kitchen counter for the sake of causing a stir—and it wouldn’t be straying from the truth—but he ultimately decided against it. So, he picked his brain for some of the more raunchy encounters he had with his ex, Ash.

It was now Ciel’s turn to share, and everyone looked at him expectantly. Ciel pompously smirked as he answered, “It was in the commuter lounge on campus, midday too.”

He could see Claude’s eyebrow twitch and his pupils grow. Ciel rolled his eyes and looked over to Sebastian, who seemed to be nodding in approval despite his eyes being slightly widened in surprise.

Claude eventually cleared his throat and continued with the game. “Uh, and, what about, um, you, Sebastian?”

The ravenette brandished a devilish grin. “Oh Claude, you already know this one.”

Claude chuckled darkly at this. “I know, but everyone else should hear it.”

”Very well, then,” Sebastian looked around with a mysterious glimmer in his eye, “it was in the confessional booth of a church.”

The reaction was explosive. People were laughing and congratulating Sebastian on his sexual prowess. Ciel just sat there in awe, avoiding the man in question’s gaze. He took another shot.

Claude was stifling laughter as he commented, “You and that girlfriend of yours really are something, Michaelis.”

_Girlfriend?_

Sebastian grinned and chuckled as he replied, “Yeah, Hannah and I like to be adventurous.”

Sebastian had a girlfriend? But Ciel could’ve _sworn_ that there was something there between him and Sebastian by tonight at least. All of the possessiveness and attention _was in his head?_ Was he just being friendly? Was Ciel misreading the whole situation? Did Sebastian even like men?!

Ciel needed another drink.

As the boy was getting wound up, everyone else seemed to be ready to wind down. The remaining partygoers were saying their goodbyes until Claude, Sebastian, and Ciel were all who were left.

Sebastian stretched and yawned softly as he said, “Well, I think I’m ready to turn in. Goodnight gentlemen.” The ravenette then disappeared into his room.

Ciel then became overwhelmingly aware that he and Claude were alone in the room. And that Claude was staring at him like a predator would stare at its prey. Ciel decided to save himself from any more groping for the night. Besides, after tonight’s revelation, he wasn’t really feeling like getting intimate with anyone.

”I think I’d like to head to bed myself,” the smaller man said as he rose from his seat.

”Alright. May I walk you home?”

 _Damn. So close._ “Uh, that’s quite alright, Claude, I—“

”Oh please, I do insist, Ciel. I want to make sure you get home safely,” Claude said as he was already grabbing his keys and heading for the door.

”…I suppose.” Ciel really didn’t have a choice after all, did he?

The two walk in silence until they reach Ciel’s front door. Claude leans in for a kiss, as expected, and Ciel blocks it by giving him a quick hug. Ciel then rushes into his apartment, leaving a stunned and probably irritated Claude alone in the hallway.

Ciel quickly changes into his weekend bum clothes once more and hops into bed. He tries sleeping for a little while, and realizes that he can’t until he quells the curiosity in the back of his mind.

The bluenette pulls up the Facebook app on his phone and scrolls through his friend list until he finds Sebastian. He was in such a hurry to go over to Claude and Sebastian’s apartment that he didn’t even stalk Sebastian’s profile. Ciel decided that now would be a good time as ever to give the profile a glance.

Ciel takes a moment to melt over Sebastian’s profile picture, which was of the ravenette head-booping a black kitten. Sebastian’s profile seemed to revolve around cats actually; his timeline was littered with cat-related memes and cat videos.

Ciel eventually gets to Sebastian’s photos and finds what he was searching for. One of the first pictures that appears is of Sebastian with his arm around a woman with long white hair and glittering cerulean eyes. They seemed happy.

The only person tagged in the photo was someone by the name of Hannah Annafellows. _That must be her._ Ciel taps his finger on the name, which takes him to the woman’s profile.

Hannah Annafellows seemed to be a decent person. She had gone to the same school as Sebastian and Ciel, but she had graduated the year prior. She appeared to be involved in politics and social issues. Her profile picture was a little hard to see, however, so Ciel tapped on it to get a better look.

_Bloody hell, her breasts are enormous!_

Ciel’s eyes widen in shock at the photo of Sebastian’s girlfriend. She appeared to be in some kind of corset-like dress that plunged severely past the neck line, revealing the sheer size of her breasts. Hannah looked absolutely ravishing; her makeup intensified the smolder of her blue eyes, her hair cascaded flawlessly down her sides, her smile was so sweet and gentle despite the seductive look in her eyes. She was perfect.

Ciel sighed in defeat and threw his phone across the bed so he didn’t have to look at the love of Sebastian’s life any longer. How could he ever compare to _that?_

_Well shit. At least it's just a tiny crush._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand of course Sebastian has a girlfriend because when are things ever easy? Let's hope for Ciel's sake that he doesn't fall for Claude's gorgeous roomie (but I think we all know how that will turn out)...


	3. The One Where Ciel Eats His Feelings

Morning comes sooner than what Ciel would have preferred. He emits a tired groan as he shields his eyes from the intruding sunlight with his pillow. The memories of the previous night slowly return to him as the fogginess of sleep leaves his consciousness: staring into wine-colored eyes, winning at beer pong, Claude assaulting his ass, Sebastian having a girlfriend…

_Sebastian having a girlfriend._

Ciel groans once more in response to the return of a familiar pang in his chest. Sebastian and what he did with his life didn’t bother Ciel before, so why now?

Ciel’s train of thought is suddenly broken when the faint smell of pancakes wafts into his room. Chocolate chip pancakes, to be exact.

Grell knew exactly how to summon him, and Ciel hated it.

The boy clumsily flops out of bed and wipes the sleep from his eyes as his feet pad down the hall and into the lounge by the kitchen. Just as Ciel had suspected, Grell was humming a happy tune as she was flipping pancakes and twirling around the kitchen floor in a bright red nightie, while her boyfriend William was sitting stiffly on the couch in the lounge with his nose in an Accounting textbook, all dressed up and ready to go for the day. Ciel huffed at the display; the couple couldn’t be more different, and yet they meshed together so well.

This made Ciel’s heart ache a little.

In the middle of a twirl and a swing of her hips to the song in her head, Grell notices Ciel’s presence and exclaims, “Well, good morning, sleepyhead!” She picks up a plate stacked with fluffy pancakes and brandishes it under Ciel’s nose. “Want some pancakes? They’re chocolate, your favorite,” she says with a knowing smile. _Of course she wants details about last night._

Nonetheless, Ciel takes the bait, immediately diving into the pancakes as he takes a seat next to William on the couch. William glances in his direction for a short moment with a look of mild disgust at the rate at which Ciel was putting his breakfast away, then just as quickly returns to his studies.

Once Ciel’s plate was clean, Grell came back from the kitchen with a plate of freshly made pancakes in tow, and plopped it onto Ciel’s lap as she started, “So…about last night…?” Grell bit her lip in anticipation, hoping for some juicy details.

Ciel rolled his eyes as he shoved another pancake down his gullet, but he eventually conceded. “I went to a party.”

Grell’s eyes lit up at the admission. “Oh, really?! Was _Claude_ there?” Grell knew what was going on between Ciel and Claude, and while she didn’t like Claude much, she understood that Ciel needed someone who was just as emotionally unavailable as he was right now, so she tried to be supportive. Grell was just hoping that Ciel would outgrow this phase soon. He deserved so much better.

”It was Claude’s party, actually. But it was his roommate who invited me,” Ciel admitted, staring down at his plate as he felt his cheeks burn a little.

”His _roommate?_ And that would be…?” Grell inquires, her interest piqued.

”Sebastian Michaelis,” Ciel answers almost _too_ quickly. His cheeks flare a little redder than before.

”Oh, I know him,” Grell squealed excitedly, “isn’t he a dish?” She gives Ciel a wink as William finally looks up from his book with a quirked brow.

Ciel uttered a “psh” as he feigned disgust at the assumption that the man in question was attractive. Despite how often Sebastian was crossing his mind these days – which he absolutely _hated_ – Ciel refused to accept that what he’s been feeling has been anything more than an appreciation of Sebastian’s looks or the establishment of a new friendship. Unfortunately for Ciel, however, Grell knew the boy too well to be fooled by his cool façade.

”Oh please, Ciel, I know you better than that. You fancy him, don’t you?” Grell pushed, taking Ciel by the shoulders and shaking him as the boy attempted to avoid contact with his friend. “C’mon, spill!”

Ciel chewed his lip as he contemplated his next move. Even his behavior had William’s attention, which was incredibly rare. So, between Will’s intense staring and Grell’s pouting…Ciel caved.

And so he told them everything. From laughing and sharing stories at the bar to the stealing glances at parties, from Sebastian’s unwillingness to leave him alone with Claude to the unusual invitation to Claude’s “gettogether” just the night before. And as Ciel finally told his narrative aloud, he realized that Sebastian might have crept through the walls guarding his heart more than he had expected.

And he really _hated_ it.

He hated how Sebastian could simply melt his resolve the way he did. All the walls that Ciel had taken the time to build around his wounded heart were now meaningless because a man that he had now known for a mere few months was tearing everything down without even trying.

He hated that out of all the men that he has casually dated over the past several months who were mere pawns to him, mere means to a momentarily self-gratifying end, somehow never elicited any emotions from Ciel other than lust. But then Sebastian simply strolls into his life and gives him the attention and care that he’s been craving for a moment, and suddenly Ciel can no longer find it within himself to be physical with any other man.

And what he hated most of all was that this one person who finally _meant_ something to him, this one person who finally makes him feel true _passion_ again, is untouchable.

He hated truly _everything_ about the situation, and he just wanted to go back to being numb.

Ciel could tell that Grell’s excitement was faltering once he told her about Hannah. _Now she understands how I feel._

”So he has a girlfriend then,” Grell commented, “I’m sure she’s nothing compared to you though!” She always tried to give Ciel an ego boost.

Ciel pursed his lips as he pulled up Hannah’s Facebook account on his phone and showed her profile picture to his friends.

Grell’s mouth hangs open in shock for a moment until she exclaims, “My word, look at those baps!” Ciel nods in agreement and defeat.

William adjusts his glasses as he arrogantly notes, “Well now _that’s_ just excessive.” Both Ciel and Grell look at William for a moment in stunned silence, and then return to their conversation.

Ciel smiled sadly as he said, “She seems like a great person. Beautiful, intelligent, worldly. She probably makes him happy.”

”You don’t know that, Ciel. You never really know what really goes on in a relationship when you’re on the outside,” William gently grabbed Grell’s hand as she spoke, “Don’t lose hope, Ciel. From what it looks like, there might be something there. Just give it some time.”

Ciel smiled half-heartedly at Grell’s words. He appreciated the love and support from his friends, and yet the familiar pain in his chest resounded even stronger now. He suspected that Grell’s kind words would never come true.

And so, Ciel decided that he would no longer allow the feelings that were bubbling forth from his heart to emerge again. He needed to be in control of his emotions once more, and the only way to do that was to quell his feelings with hope-dashing, soul-crushing reason and logic. And if that didn’t work, the only other option was to distance himself from Sebastian entirely.

Ciel wasn’t really sure if he was willing to do that.

Ciel had also decided that since there was no hope for a future between him and Sebastian, then there was no point in ending things with Claude. Even though he knew that the man was not good for him, Ciel could not bring himself to let go of what was most likely his only means of physical pleasure for the rest of his time in school.

And if he so happens to run into Sebastian while spending time with Claude, Ciel would not complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ciel just wants to bottle those feelings up, but how long will that last??


	4. The One Where Ciel Done Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry the updates have been kind of spotty. I meant to update a few weeks ago, but there were some family emergencies and school-related matters that I had to take care of. I hope you understand. 
> 
> So, good news: I have the entire fic outlined so getting chapters written should be easier. Bad news: finals are coming, so that means that either I will procrastinate on studying and work on this, or I'll actually study and won't get to this much til Christmas break. 
> 
> Please bear with this mess of a college student <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Claude is totally the type to send a "wyd" text late at night, amirite??
> 
>  
> 
> Also, just a warning that someone gets sick about midway through the chapter. It's brief and not too descriptive, but I just wanted to let you guys know just in case.

Ciel found himself facing another sleepless night, the void growing from his aching chest spreading to his mind every time he was alone with his thoughts. He attempted temporarily filling said void at times like these with social media and games on his phone, and it looked like tonight would follow suit.

As Ciel was about to reach for his phone, he heard it buzz the way it did whenever he received a text. He promptly checked the time, it had to be getting rather late…

_1:18 a.m. On what was technically a Monday morning._

When Ciel tapped on the message notification, the name that popped up didn’t really surprise him. _Of bloody course…_

_Claude Faustus._

Ciel debated for a moment whether or not to even bother reading the message, for he most likely knew what Claude was looking for. But he checked anyway just for the hell of it.

> **Hey, wyd? ;)**

Ciel sighed in frustration and facepalmed over Claude’s obviousness. _What the bloody hell do you think I’d being doing at 1 a.m. on a school night?!_

Ciel considered not replying and just try to go to bed until his phone buzzed once more; it was another message from Claude. _Thirsty much…_

> **Want to come over? ;)**

Ciel tried to get out of the situation, and typed:

> **I don’t think so, It’s rather late…**

There was a decent period of silence after Ciel had replied. He figured that Claude had given up until his phone suddenly vibrated back to life once more.

> **Sebasstian and I are just hanging out, nothing crazy. Please?**

Ciel read the message over and over again; this changes the game a bit. _And was that extra “s” in Sebastian’s name really a typo?_ He decided to relent; just the mention of Sebastian was a siren’s call to Ciel. He didn’t really have an early start on Mondays anyway. What’s the harm in a little visit? Ciel typed:

> **Fine. I’ll be there in 5.**

Ciel didn’t even wait for Claude’s response. He jumped out of bed and threw on a hoodie, jeans, and whatever pair of shoes he could find first in the darkness of his room and headed out the door.

…

Ciel practiced his heart-wrenching mantras on his way over to Claude and Sebastian’s apartment on that crisp October night. _”Sebastian has a girlfriend.” “They’re in love.” “Why on earth would he want you?” “Get over yourself, Phantomhive.”_

As he approached the apartment door and gave it a light knock, his mantras were put to an abrupt halt when Claude answered.

And there stood Claude in nothing but a robe.

”Ciel! I’m so glad you could come! Come on in,” Claude exclaimed as he practically pulled Ciel into the apartment lounge. He did not fail to notice that Claude had an empty shot glass in hand and he reeked of liquor. _Splendid._

And there was Sebastian sitting at the kitchen table, looking as uncomfortable as Ciel was feeling. As Ciel began to give the man a timid wave, his face was smacked with a wall of flesh.

Claude had pulled him into an embarrassingly tight embrace. The stench of alcohol mixed with a hint of freshly cleaned man assaulted his nostrils. Ciel wasn’t really sure what to do about the incredibly drunk and half-naked Claude hugging him. All he knew was that he was painfully aware of Sebastian staring.

Ciel had then finally decided that he had enough of all of his senses being attacked and pried himself of Claude’s lewd grasp. 

Ciel then mouthed silently for only Sebastian to see, “Is he drunk?” Sebastian then nodded and pursed his lips awkwardly as a response.

Claude, however, was nowhere near being done with having his hold on Ciel. He wrapped his arm around the smaller man and pulled him in close enough to be mere inches away from his face.

”I am so glad you’re here, Ciel,” Claude repeats much louder than what he probably intended. Ciel scrunches his nose in disgust over the stench of Claude’s breath, which happened to reek of a liquor store. Ciel was 115% done.

”Uh, I’m going to sit down now if you don’t mind.” Before Claude could respond, Ciel was already sitting down at the seat across from Sebastian.

Claude stood – or swayed – in shock for a moment, however this did not stop him from plopping down in the chair next to Ciel a mere few seconds later. Claude also made sure to be seated facing Ciel with his legs opened rather widely. Ciel’s face went pale as he tried to ignore Claude’s obvious advances.

Sebastian too seemed to be ignoring his roommate. He cleared his throat loudly before saying, “Anyway…It’s good to see you despite these circumstances, Ciel. Hopefully you don’t have an early start tomorrow?”

Ciel felt himself relax a little at the distraction from the half-naked man next to him. ”Nah, I don’t have class until 1, so this is fine. What about you?”

“Oh, I have a 9 a.m. class, but it’s quite fine. Somebody’s got to look over —” Sebastian eyes Claude condescendingly, “— _that._ Plus, you’re here now, so I suppose this can’t be all bad.”

Ciel suppressed the feeling of his chest bursting at Sebastian’s words by deflecting and using sarcastic humor, his ultimate defense mechanism, instead. “Aw, how touching. You’re such a kind roommate,” he said in a mockingly cheery tone.

Sebastian smiled wryly and let out a small chuckle, “Oh, yes. I’m the _best._ It’s not like I’m doing this now for selfish reasons or anything.” Sebastian’s eyes widened as he finished the sentence, almost as if he had realized that he had said a few words too much.

Ciel caught this immediately, and he’s be damned if he’d let it go. “What do you mean—”

Suddenly, the sound of coughing and wretching filled the room. Ciel and Sebastian turned to see Claude hunched over to the opposite side of Ciel, clearly sick from drinking too much. Ciel and Sebastian had been so immersed into their banter that they didn’t even notice that Claude had finished off a bottle of whiskey.

Sebastian rose from his seat and grabbed the trashcan from the kitchen and set it by Claude while calmly instructing him to use that instead of the floor, and Claude quickly complied. Sebastian then promptly began to clean the mess up. Between the smell and the sounds that Claude was emitting, Ciel was debating whether or not to become sick himself. 

Sebastian seemed to notice how uneasy Ciel was and decided to take action. “I’d understand you wanted to leave, Ciel. But I’ll be done with Claude in just a moment if you’ll wait.” Sebastian’s eyes bore into Ciel’s, almost pleading.

Ciel chewed on his lip in consideration for a moment before he answered. “…I’m fine,” he decided that spending alone time with Sebastian was doubly worth putting up with Claude’s sickness. _Bloody hell I’m whipped,_ “Is he alright?”

Sebastian smiled warmly at Ciel as he wiped at Claude’s robe with a wet rag, “He’ll be just fine. This isn’t my first time cleaning up Claude’s messes.” And with that, he threw Claude over his shoulder and took the drunken man to his bedroom.

Sebastian soon returned with Febreze in tow. “Please, go ahead and make yourself comfortable in the lounge,” he said with a smile, “I’ll be right there.”

Ciel quickly obliged to get away from the scene and stiffly seated himself at the first couch in sight. He crossed his legs and crossed his arms to avoid fidgeting. _What am I even going to say to Sebastian? We’ve never been alone before…I didn’t really think this through, did I?_

Soon enough Sebastian strides into the room and seats himself onto the couch across from Ciel. He leans onto the back of the couch while stretching his arms out, almost touching the ends of each side of the elegant piece of furniture. He flashes Ciel a smile that makes Ciel a little lightheaded. “Sorry about that. Now, what would you like to talk about?”

Ciel holds his breath as he scours his brain for something to say: school, random facts, memes, _anything._ But the only thing that popped up in his head was _girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend._

Sebastian waited expectantly, demeanor relaxed and warm. _Don’t ask about his girlfriend._

The way that his red wine eyes sparkled made Ciel’s stomach lurch. _Don’t ask about his girlfriend._

Sebastian pushed his raven bangs out of eyes as he turned his head ever so slightly, showing off the flawless structure of his neck. _Don’t you dare ask about his girlfriend._

”So, how’s Hannah?”

_Fuck._

”She’s great, thank you for asking. I’m actually going to see her this weekend.”

Ciel felt the jealousy bubble up in his throat, but he kept it at bay. He made this bed, so he figured he might as well lie in it. “Oh really? Are you going to do anything special?”

”Nothing crazy. Just visiting some museums in the city nearby. Hannah and I can be quite the art fanatics. We’ll probably do all those typical couple-y things you see on Tumblr and Instagram, like kissing in front of a Monet or something of that sort,” he said with a small smile.

Ciel bit back a snarky remark and quietly gave a lukewarm “Hm, sounds fun” in response instead.

As if he was picking up on Ciel’s tension, Sebastian somewhat diverted from the subject. “So, are you seeing anyone?”

Ciel’s eyes widen as he processes what he had just been asked. Sebastian’s golden eyed roommate then comes to mind. _Does he know about Claude? Surely, he must know that there’s something going on there… What kind of game is he playing?_

Ciel chewed at the inside of his cheek as he considered how to answer. Perhaps for now he should just play it cool and act as if nothing is going on between him and Claude? Ciel wasn’t sure why, but for the first time, he was actually feeling ashamed of his casual fling. 

However, he decided to go with being honest…to some degree. “I’m not seeing anyone seriously, no. I got out of a bad relationship not too long ago, so I’ve only been dating casually lately.” This wasn’t a lie; Ciel wasn’t taking romance seriously at all at the moment. As far as he was concerned, it didn’t really exist. Or that’s at least what he’s been telling himself.

Sebastian quirks his brow in intrigue. “Oh really? And how’s that going for you?”

Ciel shrugs his shoulders, his mind momentarily flashing back to his decent number of conquests over the past several months. “Can’t complain.”

”Well, I personally find it quite interesting that you say that,” Sebastian says with a smirk.

Ciel feels himself become a little defensive, almost suspicious of the other man’s words. “And why is that?”

”Well,” Sebastian pauses for a moment, as if he was trying to be very selective with his word usage, “you just don’t seem like the type to sleep around. Hopping from bed to bed doesn’t seem like your style, that’s all.”

Ciel felt his temper flare up the slightest bit. _Who is he to say that I can’t date around? I’m sure as hell attractive enough._ He failed horribly at hiding the irritation in his voice as he retorted, “I can date however I please, thank you. Besides,” he manages to soften a bit as he continues, “I’m just trying this on. I want to find out what works for me.”

Sebastian flashes a small smile. “I didn’t mean to offend of course. I mean, I’ve done that myself. I did it for most of my dating life, actually. I never seemed to be able to settle or commit to one person. That is, until Hannah.”

Just the mentioning of his girlfriend’s name made Ciel feel like he had been punched in the gut. All he could muster was a short “Hm” in response as he looked away, unable to look the other man in the eyes.

Sebastian continued, “That could very well happen for you too, you know,” he then gave Ciel a sincere smile as his eyes seemed to begin to sparkle, “I know I sound like most people giving unsolicited advice to singles, but it really is about timing. You just have to find the right person at the right time and at the right place. You’ll see.”

Ciel remained silent, unable to formulate a response that could be said aloud.

There was another moment of tension in the room before Sebastian changed the subject yet again. “So, what happened with your last relationship, if I may ask?”

Now that was something Ciel could get into.

With a dark chuckle, Ciel finally spoke, saying, “Where do I begin?”

Sebastian’s mouth forms a thin line. “That bad?”

”That bad. This guy, Ash, essentially was an emotionally abusive asshole who wanted make himself my entire world. He tried to isolate me from my friends and family and everything.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened as he frowned in disgust. “That sounds awful, I’m so sorry. No wonder you’ve sworn off relationships.”

Ciel nodded as he stared at the floor, trying not to focus too hard on the horrifying memories of his past. “Yea, I’m glad I got out when I did.”

Suddenly, Ciel felt warmth envelop his hand. He looked up in shock as realized that Sebastian had reached from the other couch to give his hand a squeeze.

Ciel’s face might have burned up a bit.

Sebastian gave his hand yet another squeeze as he said almost in a whisper: “I am too.”

Ciel ignored his initial instinct to back out of any form or intimate contact. Sebastian didn’t let go of his hand. The two men remained like this for what felt like several minutes.

A notification sound then pinged on Sebastian’s phone, which made Sebastian immediately clear his throat and back away as if he had just been broken out of a trance.

Surprisingly, the contact between the two made Ciel feel brave. “You’re not going to answer that, are you? You do have company over, after all,” he said with a smirk.

A mischievous grin then blossomed across Sebastian’s face as he pushed his phone to the other end of the couch. “Of course not.”

”So tell me, Sebastian, any plans after graduation?” Ciel decided that perhaps he should take advantage of this alone time with Sebastian to know what he can about him. What’s the harm in a little bit of idle chat anyway?

And so the two go on like this for hours, talking about anything and everything. Career goals, past romantic encounters, celebrity spottings, favorite cities, you name it.

Eventually, Ciel stretches and lets out a soft yawn, causing Sebastian to be interested in just how late it was. As he checked the time on his phone, he let out an amused chuckle.

”Ciel, you won’t believe what time it is.”

Ciel blinked a few times, trying to rid the exhaustion from his eyes. “What, like 2:30, right?”

”Uh, not exactly. It’s 4:00 a.m.”

Ciel facepalms, groaning as he says, “Holy. Fuck.”

”Indeed. We should probably go to bed,” Sebastian says as he slowly gets up from the couch.

Ciel follows suit and heads for the door. “I…had fun.”

Sebastian smiles sleepily. “So did I. We should do this again sometime, perhaps not at this hour though,” he adds with a light laugh. He holds the front door open for Ciel, and Ciel steps through the doorway.

”That would be nice,” Ciel says as he yawns once more, “Goodnight, Sebastian.”

”Goodnight,” Sebastian says sweetly as he closes the door.

Once Ciel is alone, he processes everything that had just transpired. The talking, the laughing, the scathing roasts…

Ciel might have been drowsy from the lack of sleep, but he was aware enough to recognize that he was in trouble.

”Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, here's a Spotify playlist that I created for this fic if anyone's interested. I usually play these songs when I want inspiration for writing the characters or their situations: https://open.spotify.com/user/1266670554/playlist/6PYxZ6uw0bXeF64DfIaMtk


	5. The One Where Sebastian Wants to Play a Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a means of repentance for not updating when I said I would, here's another chapter <3 
> 
> Yes, it's short. Yes, it's angsty.
> 
> But it's a chapter.

Another few weeks pass by after that night. For the first time in his life, Ciel actually cared that Claude had not invited him over in a while. Going over the see Claude meant seeing Sebastian, and Ciel was dying to be with Sebastian again.

No matter how hard he tried, Ciel could not stop thinking about Claude’s gorgeous roommate. He was able to rein in his attraction to Sebastian before, but after that night, Ciel couldn’t help but swoon over the unavailable man. Which was hell. Pure, unadulterated hell.

He knew that Sebastian was crazy about Hannah, so Ciel knew that he didn’t have a chance with him. Not that he believed that he would have much of a chance to begin with — despite the fact that he had learned that night that Sebastian was indeed attracted to men as well as women — but still…

So, Ciel accepted his torture instrument that was Sebastian Michaelis.

Which is why when Sebastian messaged Ciel around midnight on a Saturday night to invite him over, Ciel jumped at the opportunity.

But as Ciel walked into Claude and Sebastian’s apartment, he had soon become confused as to why he was even there.

Once again, it had seemed that Claude had no idea that Ciel was invited.

And Ciel was a little pissed.

It was apparent that a party _had_ happened at some point that night, but Ciel had certainly missed it. There were empty liquor bottles and red plastic cups littering the kitchen table. There was a random guy passed out on a couch. Sebastian was the only person at the apartment who was coherent enough to even have a conversation with Ciel.

Well, Claude was trying to engage in conversation as well, if Alois has allowed him to.

It was quite the sight, actually. Alois Trancy seemed to be rather plastered as he tried to practically sit on Claude’s lap. Claude appeared to be very uncomfortable by Alois’ advances, probably because Ciel was in the room, or at least that’s what Ciel figured. “I can’t control his actions,” Claude was saying as some form of an apology. _Sure, Claude. Sure._

Not that Ciel cared what Claude did, but _nobody_ wanted to see that.

However, Sebastian was acting as if everything was perfectly fine. He sat by Ciel, smiling and chatting with him as if it was just another night at the bar.

Ciel’s time on cloud nine had officially ended.

Oh yes, all those fuzzy feelings for Sebastian were turning into frustration and confusion. At this point, Ciel was starting to see red. _What exactly is Sebastian trying to do? It’s almost as if he wanted me to see Alois and Claude together._

Eventually, Claude managed to escape Alois’ grip, which broke Ciel out of his angry reverie.

”I think I’m going to take Alois to bed. He’s obviously too drunk to go home tonight. He can stay in my bedroom,” Claude said as he helped Alois off the loveseat. 

”Sure, Claude. Whatever. Goodnight,” Ciel said ambivalently. He didn’t have time for Claude’s bullshit excuses; he knew what he and Alois were going to do.

”Of course,” Sebastian responded more cheerfully as the pair stumbled back to Claude’s bedroom, “Have a good night you two.”

As soon as Ciel heard the bedroom door click, he knew it was finally safe to express his frustration. And he knew exactly who to take those frustrations out on.

”Sebastian?”

Sebastian smiled a little too nicely. “Yes?”

”What the fuck?” Ciel deadpanned.

Sebastian’s sunny demeanor finally dissolved as he said, “What do you mean?”

”What. The. Fuck,” Ciel repeated, this time much slower.

”We’re being rather eloquent today, aren’t we?” Sebastian attempted to quip.

And that’s when the levee finally burst. “You know exactly what I’m referring to! Why the bloody hell did you invite me over? So I could see that mess?!” Ciel practically shouted as he waved his arms in the direction of the now vacant loveseat where Alois and Claude were making complete asses of themselves.

”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sebastian retorted, though the fact that he looked away as he spoke gave away the truth.

”I’m not stupid, Sebastian. I know why you invited me here, what you wanted me to see. What I don’t get, however, is why you think I care.”

Sebastian sighed in defeat before he replied. “Ciel, listen, I admit I had an inkling that there was something going on between you and Claude. But he’s not good for you.”

Oh, Ciel was definitely seeing flaming red now. If he were seeing more clearly at the moment, he would be endeared by Sebastian’s concern. However, right now his pride was dominating his emotions. How _dare_ Sebastian assume what’s good for him? How _dare_ he even act like he cares when he has a girlfriend? It’s not like _Sebastian_ is going to do anything that will improve his situation!

”Why do you care, Sebastian? You don’t know what’s good for me!”

Sebastian too was getting riled up now. “You’re not this person, Ciel! You don’t waste your time with people like Claude! You’re better than that!”

”Don’t you presume what kind of person I am! You hardly know me!” Ciel knew that these words were untrue at this point in their relationship, but in the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Sebastian winced at Ciel’s words, obviously hurt by what had been said. But Ciel couldn’t really bring himself to care about that either. He wanted to know _why_ Sebastian was doing this. He wanted to hear the words directly from Sebastian’s very mouth.

”Why are you doing this, Sebastian?”

Silence.

”Why do you care about who I date so much?”

Nothing.

”Who would you suggest that I date instead?”

Crickets.

”Fine, be that way. I’ll see myself out,” Ciel seethed as he jolted up from the couch and strides to the door. “Let me know when you figure that out. Until then,” Ciel paused for a moment, and let out a shaky breath, “don’t bother talking to me.” And Ciel walked out the door without turning back.

He regretted every word that he had said and every step that he made as soon as he climbed into bed.

Somehow, Ciel had now become even more haunted by sparkling garnet and red wine.


	6. The One Where Claude is Salty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mildly dubious consent in this chapter
> 
> (aka Claude is filth and Ciel wishes that Claude was someone else)

After his fight with Sebastian, the week passes in an agonizingly slow fashion for Ciel. The eventual approach of the weekend brings him little comfort. He knew that he couldn’t go back to that apartment, he knew he couldn’t handle looking Sebastian in the eye again.

Not that Sebastian was at the apartment at the moment anyway. Ciel was painfully aware that Sebastian was out seeing a movie with Hannah since it was all over Hannah’s Instagram.

Not that Ciel was regularly stalking Sebastian and Hannah’s social media accounts or anything.

In lieu of having a pity party or third-wheeling on Grell and William’s movie date in the apartment lounge, Ciel decided to have some fun on his own. So, he pulled out his stash of Bacardi and poured it into a mostly empty 2 liter bottle of Coke. Then he treated said 2 liter bottle like a 16 ounce bottle, chugging its contents down as if it were nothing. If drinking alone in your bedroom on a Saturday night was pathetic, then pathetic he shall be.

As his thoughts started to become hazy and his head started to spin, Ciel suddenly realized how lonely he truly he was. And mildly turned on.

Oh yes, Ciel was now all too painfully aware that it had been weeks – dare he say over a month? – since he had even so much as kissed someone. That needed to be amended quickly. And right now, he frankly didn’t care who would help amend it.

Well, that was a lie. Ciel stared at his Coke bottle sadly as flashes of wine eyes, raven locks, and marble statue hands went through his fuzzy mind. Ciel knew who he really wanted. But that certain someone was unavailable, so he continued to pout as he cuddled his bottle as it were a teddy bear.

Wait! Didn’t Ciel have a person for this kind a predicament?

Oh, that’s right! _Claude._

Ciel clumsily fumbled around for his phone and promptly encouraged Claude to come over with promises of a good time – or at least that’s what he hoped he had conveyed.

Claude seemed to understand the implications in Ciel’s message, however, and said that he would be over in a few minutes.

Sure enough, soon there was a knock on Ciel’s front door. Ciel stumbled out of his bed and headed down the hall to answer, leaving his room in slight disarray due to not caring what Claude even remotely thought.

Ciel then takes a moment before answering the door to position himself in a seductive manner against the door frame, completely ignoring Grell and William’s perplexed faces as they watched the display.

Once he was satisfied with how he was positioned, Ciel slowly opened the door just enough to show off his face and only a sliver of his body as he bit his lip before saying in a charming tone, “Oh, hello Claude.”

Claude seemed amused by Ciel’s attempt to be seductive while so obviously being drunk. However, the look of pure lust did not leave the man’s eyes as he chuckled at Ciel’s behavior. “Hello, Ciel.”

In another attempt to be alluring, Ciel stuck his leg out the door and waved it around as if he were in an old movie trying to hail a cab. “Won’t you come inside?”

Claude looked puzzled for a moment, but it did not stop him. “Of course.” Ciel then let Claude into the apartment by taking his hand and leading him down the hallway to his bedroom.

William and Grell then exchanged a look of sheer confusion and bewilderment. Grell then finally broke the silence between them, saying, “What in the bloody hell is Ciel doing?”

William adjusted his glasses, now returning to the usual austere expression on his face. “Something stupid, by the looks of it.”

…

As soon as Claude and Ciel enter Ciel’s bedroom, Ciel attacks Claude by putting his arms around the taller man and assaulting his mouth with passionate and wet kisses. Claude gets over his initial shock rather quickly and becomes very receptive to Ciel’s advances.

Ciel then aggressively pushes Claude onto his bed and climbs on top of him. He slowly drags his tongue down Claude’s neck and then nibbles at his ear lobe before he whispers huskily, “Do you want this,” Ciel emphasizes his intentions with a hearty thrust of his hips into Claude’s groin, “Do you want me?”

”Oh, God yes,” Claude moans out as he flips himself and Ciel around so that he is now on top and in control, “You have no idea how much I’ve been longing for this.” Claude then reached into his back pocket and revealed that he had a few condoms in tow. “And this time, I’ve come prepared.”

Ciel’s will to progress suddenly began to falter at this; this was all of a sudden becoming a little too real.

However, Ciel did not stop Claude when he disrobed. He did not stop Claude when he disrobed Ciel either. He did not stop Claude even when his fingers began to push into Ciel’s entrance.

It was almost as if Ciel was numb, as if he was in a trance that allowed him to mentally escape what was happening. Ciel wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t care or because he wished it was someone else touching him this way.

Instead of watching Claude hungrily grope at his body, Ciel closed his eyes and allowed the numbness to take over completely. He replaced Claude’s rough, roaming hands with cool and calming marble. He turned forceful, hasty probing of fingers into gentle yet passionate thrusts. Leering, lusty yellow eyes changed into loving, warm garnet. Every touch, every kiss, every minute aspect of what Ciel was experiencing was now at the hands of his beloved. His Sebastian.

“Sebastian…” Ciel moans out his name before he can stop himself.

The fantasy then suddenly comes to a screeching halt; all touching has stopped, and it now feels as if there is a chill to the air. The tension in the room is palpable.

_”…What did you just say?”_

Ciel finally opens his eyes to see Claude looming over him, and he is _fuming._ When he finds his voice, Ciel stammers out, “I—I’m sorry, Claude. I can’t do this.”

”Because of your stupid little crush on Seb _ass_ tian?! Oh please…” Claude practically spits back.

Ciel blinks in disbelief. “How—“

”Give me a break, it’s so obvious! But guess what? It’s never going to happen,” Claude grits his teeth before he reveals a chilling smirk, “We had a deal.” Claude then begins to pull Ciel closer to him once more.

Ciel begins to panic and struggle. “Get the hell off me!”

Claude then bends down to kiss and nip at Ciel’s inner thigh. “C’mon Ciel, I know you want me,” he says in a devious tone that sends chills up Ciel’s spine.

”I _said_ to get the fuck off me!” Ciel shouts as he lifts his leg that isn’t being held down and kicks Claude square in the face.

Claude falls to the floor with a grunt and puts his hand over his mouth, checking to see if he was drawing blood. Then there’s a hearty knock on the door followed by William asking from the other side, “Ciel, are you okay in there?”

”I’m fine,” Ciel shouts as he stares Claude down. “Get out,” he says lowly enough to be a growl.

”He’ll never treat you like I do, especially once he finds out what a tease you are,” Claude says as he slowly gets back on his feet, “Why do you think I got back with that mess Alois?”

Ciel didn’t even bother to grace Claude with a response; he just glared as he tried to cover himself with a blanket.

This only agitated Claude more. “You’ll regret this,” he warned after he finally dressed and left.

William and Grell immediately came into Ciel’s room just as Claude exited. Grell ran over to Ciel as William began to pick up the boy’s clothes and hand them to him. “Are you okay?” Grell asked, concern laced throughout her voice.

”Really, I’m fine. Thank you,” Ciel replies softly, “It’s over now.”

”I’m glad,” Grell said with a faint smile, “He wasn’t healthy for you.”

”Would you like us to kill him for you?” William asked with a completely straight face, serious as ever.

Ciel managed to laugh at this. Typical William and Grell. “That won’t be necessary. He’s not worth going to jail for.”

”That would only happen if we got caught,” Grell quipped with a smile.

”So, what are you going to do now?” William asked. He didn’t need to explain what he meant; Ciel already knew.

”I have to fix this. I need to talk to Sebastian.”

Ciel knew what he had to do. Now he just had to figure out how to do it.


	7. The One Where Espresso Saved a Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! I hope you're all having a lovely holiday!!
> 
> I meant to update this story wayyyy more than I have been over this break, but unfortunately life got in the way (and not in a good way either)... So here's to hoping that I'll be able to update a lot more before university once again consumes my soul!
> 
> Also, just a side note: It has been brought to my attention that maybeee I haven't been the kindest to Alois in terms of Ciel's treatment of him as a friend. So, in hopes of amending that, this chapter was created. I wasn't really planning on having this chapter in the story at all; I was just going to proceed with the main storyline for Sebastian and Ciel. However, I have thought about it long and hard, and I think the readers need to see the reasoning behind Ciel's actions as well as a better glimpse into Ciel and Alois' relationship as friends. 
> 
> I'd personally like to thank everyone who has been supporting me through my writing of this fic, whether it might be through advice/input, a friendly word or two in the comments, or even a kudos. This chapter is especially dedicated to you.

As he had strolled out of his apartment building on a crisp fall morning, Ciel finally began to realize and accept that Halloween had come. This meant that the semester was already halfway over, which also meant that he was already less than a year away from graduating from college. The mere thought of that fact combined with the chill of the air made Ciel envelop himself deeper into his jacket as he headed towards the university’s café.

This would have to be Ciel’s scariest Halloween yet, he had decided this as he noted the crunch of the orange and yellow leaves beneath his feet. Indeed, he was finally going to face his biggest fears. He had technically already faced Claude. He still needed to face Sebastian. Most importantly, however, Ciel has been focusing on facing himself.

Freeing himself of Claude was like releasing a breath that Ciel did not even realize that he had been holding. He was now beginning to see things more clearly, and – if he had to be honest with himself – he was not proud of his actions, especially what he had been doing as of late. Sebastian had ultimately been right; the person who he was being wasn’t Ciel at all. The real Ciel never would have settled for toxic, second rate people in his life, leaving his friends on the wayside.

Ciel had to admit that he allowed his own wants and needs to get in the way of the welfare of those around him, especially the ones he cared for most. Right after Ciel’s breakup with Ash, he felt as if he were a caged animal that had finally been set free. For the first time in a long time, he could do what he wanted without answering to anyone. The feeling became like a drug to Ciel. Feeling as if he had a second chance at life, he had chosen to follow a vocation of self-care and indulgence. It had been a healthy and fulfilling pursuit at first, but somewhere between the acknowledgment of not needing a partner to be complete and the eventual itch where the void in his heart began to grow, Ciel must have lost his way. He began to choose temporary gratification over his friends. He began to choose unattached lust over the possibility of love. He began to choose repression over growth.

Well, that was ending today. The reality of his actions was difficult to face, but in order to make things right Ciel knew that he had to rip off the proverbial bandage and clean the wounds he had caused.

Ciel honestly felt genuine remorse for going off on Sebastian the way he did. Yes, Sebastian could have certainly shown his concern for his friend in a better way, but the good intentions were still there. And the games absolutely had to stop. They needed to talk. Oh yes, the air between Sebastian and Ciel definitely needed some clearing. Ciel really hated the tense situation the two were currently in.

However, before confronting his situation with Sebastian, Ciel had other business to take care of first. Business that he had been neglecting far too long…

As Ciel entered the cozy little café, he almost immediately spotted a waving Alois seated at a corner booth. Ciel responded with a short, timid wave of his own as he approached the booth.

”Hey, Ciel! It’s about time you got here,” Alois quipped cheerily as he handed a now seated Ciel a coffee cup, “I wasn’t sure when you’d get here, so I figured I’d just get your drink for you. I hope I still remember one of your favorites. Caramel macchiato with extra caramel, right?”

Ciel officially felt like the worst person on the planet. “Thank you, Alois. You didn’t have to…”

Alois scoffed and waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I just hope it’s not cold since you had me waiting like 84 years.”

Okay, so Ciel now officially felt like the gum underneath the shoe of the worst person on the planet. “Sorry,” he said dejectedly as he stared down at his cup of coffee.

Alois then eyed Ciel skeptically as he started, “Ciel…I know that we haven’t been very close lately, but you don’t need to treat me like a stranger. C’mon, it’s me.”

Ciel looked up in surprise. So Alois had noticed the shift in their relationship too…

It was true. There definitely was a rift in Ciel and Alois’ friendship. Sure, they were never exactly the best of friends. They had been friends since freshman year, but as the years progressed Alois got more into the party scene. Ciel was more introverted, so he preferred to stay in his room whereas Alois would rather go to the next hottest party. Ciel didn’t even really go to college parties until he befriended Claude and Sebastian. So, nowadays Ciel and Alois were friends of convenience, going to events together or hanging out when no one else would.

However, the waning friendship between the two did not excuse Ciel’s treatment of his friend. Ciel _knew_ that Claude was Alois’ ex and was far from over him, but Ciel _still_ pursued Claude. Ciel was _well aware_ of what was happening in Claude’s room at the last party at Claude and Sebastian’s apartment, but Ciel _allowed_ it to continue just so he could pout over his crush.

_Never again._

”That’s actually why I invited you for coffee today. I wanted to talk about,” Ciel chewed his lip as he tried to find the right words to say, “…things.”

”Things? Like?” Alois ebbed on, curiosity glittering in his eyes.

”I—I haven’t been a good friend to you, Alois. And I wanted to say that I’m sorry.” Ciel fights the urge to look back down at his cup out of shame.

”Oh. Those kinds of things. I mean, we haven’t really talked or hung out in awhile, but—“

”I’ve been sleeping with Claude,” Ciel finally bit out while he still had some courage within him, “I mean, we _used_ to sleep together. But I ended it. It’s over.” Ciel searched his friend’s eyes for any kind of reaction: shock, sadness, anger, _anything._ And yet, Alois, seemed to be totally unaffected by his confession.

”I know,” Alois said plainly, voice matching his calm demeanor.

”…You knew? But h—how?” Ciel asked, still in complete shock over the turn in events.

”Oh please, you two were so obvious. Plus Claude wouldn’t bloody shut up about you,” Alois said with light laughter.

”And you’re not mad at me?” Ciel furrowed his brow questioningly.

”Nah, I know how Claude is. I mean, we dated for almost two years,” Alois said as he shrugged his shoulders, “Well, I was upset at first, but mostly because you were obviously trying to keep it hidden from me. Sure, it hurts to see Claude with people who are not me, but I’m used to that by now. But you’re my friend, Ciel, so it’s a little bit different with you.”

Ciel said the only thing he could think of at the moment, “I’m so sorry.”

”Well, it’s over now, as you said. So don’t worry about it,” Alois said with a small smile.

Ciel, however, was still unsatisfied. “But I let you sleep with Claude while you were drunk at that party. That was unacceptable.”

Now Alois was the perplexed one. “What? I didn’t sleep with Claude, we haven’t done anything like that since we were together.”

”But you followed Claude into his room after his party a few weeks ago, I saw it happen.”

Alois sipped his espresso as he thought about Ciel’s words for a moment. Then realization hit him as he practically exclaimed, “Oh _that!_ That was nothing. I totally just passed out on his bed the second my head hit his pillow.” Alois laughed haughtily as he continued. “I would never sleep with Claude, even if I was drunk. I just like to tease him, it reminds him of what he’s missing.” Alois gave Ciel a wink before he took another sip from his cup.

Ciel finally felt a wave of relief wash over him. Even so, his curiosity was piqued when images of Alois giving Claude hugs or sitting on his lap popped into his head. “But don’t you still have feelings for Claude, Alois?”

Alois fidgeted in his seat for a moment, considering how to answer. “Oh, definitely. But maybe I should give him up too.”

”Well, maybe we can keep each other in check then,” Ciel quipped with the first smile he has had all day slowly spreading across his face.

Alois matched Ciel’s smile with his own dazzlingly bright one. “Sounds like a plan!”

With the awkward tension between the two dissipated, they begin to talk to each other freely about things like classes, the weather, cringeworthy stories about Claude…

When there was a lull in the conversation, Alois asked, “So, what are you going to do about Sebastian?”

Ciel looked at his friend quizzically for a moment, then he emits an exasperated sigh. “That obvious, huh?”

Alois only nodded with an encouraging smile on his face. “But it’s pretty obvious that he likes you too, ya know.”

Ciel feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him. “R—Really?”

”Oh _totally._ He’s so into you it’s _disgusting,_ ” Alois sticks his tongue out playfully, “It was especially obvious at that party. I might have been drunk, but I wasn’t blind. So, are you going to tell him how you feel or what?”

”Well,” Ciel starts, “it’s a bit more complicated than that. He has a girlfriend.”

”So?”

” _So_ that means he is taken,” Ciel said incredulously, “Telling him how I feel would be pointless…right?” Ciel has a death grip on his coffee cup as if it held the answers to the universe by the end of the sentence.

”Actually, I think he should at least know how you feel about him. It’s not like you’re throwing yourself at him, you’re just showing that the interest is there and that he has options. I say give it a shot,” Alois said as he gave his friend an encouraging smile.

Ciel blushed at the thought of his plan coming to fruition, “I was planning to, but I was hoping that you’d knock some sense into me. I guess not,” Ciel quipped as he chuckled nervously.

”Well, you came to the wrong bitch for that,” Alois giggled before he continued, “But seriously, it’s senior year. What’s there left to lose?”

”My dignity,” Ciel retorted flatly. 

Alois scoffed, “When did you ever have that?”

”Shit. You’re right. Never mind,” both of the boys laughed, “Hey, are you going to club night tonight?”

Alois feigned horror as he dramatically exclaimed, “Mind who you’re talking to! Of bloody course I’m going clubbing tonight, it’s Halloween!”

As the conversation carried on between him and Alois, Ciel slowly but surely felt the pieces of his scattered life come together into something complete and beautiful once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, I am aware that I am far behind with the holidays. I started this fic around Halloween time and I had this specific vision/aesthetic for it, so now we're celebrating Halloween around New Years!


	8. The One Where the Nightmare before Christmas Saved a Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! I'm sorry it's been awhile ;_;

Much later that evening, Ciel strode into the Lau **⸱** nge, the hottest club in the area, along with Grell, William, and Alois. The entire group was all decked out for the occasion, being Halloween and all. The group decided to go as Disney characters so that they would relatively have a theme. Alois was naturally a sexy Cheshire Cat with purple fishnets and high heeled boots. Grell insisted on being Ariel from the _Little Mermaid,_ which of course meant that William absolutely _had_ to – begrudgingly – be Eric. And Ciel decided to be Sally from the _Nightmare before Christmas,_ which just so happened to be his favorite movie of all time.

Ciel was an impeccable Sally, if he did say so himself. Grell had a lot of fun doing his makeup, painting stitches in all the rights places on Ciel’s body. Ciel decided to forgo the blue skin – however, Grell did insist on him wearing blue eyeshadow – and the red wig for the sake of convenience, but between the makeup and the dress he bought online, he truly did look the part.

Club night was already in full swing when Ciel and his friends had arrived, with scads of bodies dancing closely together in rhythm to the beat of the blaring music underneath flashing lights. The bar was packed, but that didn’t stop Alois from ordering a round of drinks for himself and the rest of the group. After a few more rounds, Grell practically dragged William to the dancefloor and Alois and Ciel followed suit.

Ciel was really feeling himself tonight. He looked sexy and ethereal in his costume, the friends he loved most were by his side. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he could finally feel like he could breathe.

That is, until one of the moving spotlights shined on a tall, dark, figure in the corner of the dancefloor.

_Of bloody course._

There stood a seemingly awestruck and dumbfounded Sebastian Michaelis, dressed up as none other than Jack Skellington. And he was staring right at Ciel. The universe was really a funny place, was it not?

The universe got even funnier when Sebastian started to make his way towards Ciel, struggling to sift through the writhing crowd of bodies that blocked his path.

Alois’ eyes followed Ciel’s gaze and pursed his lips, he really felt for Ciel’s situation. He wanted to spend more time with Ciel now that their friendship had now been rekindled, but he understood that sorting out this mess with Sebastian was the only way that Ciel could truly start to heal.

Alois tapped Ciel on the shoulder and nudged his head in the direction of Sebastian as he asked, “So, what are you going to do?”

Ciel gulped, however never breaking eye contact with Sebastian as he answered, “I’m not sure.”

”I think you should go to him.”

Ciel finally turned to Alois then, brow furrowed and eyes laced with shock. “What? No, I’m not leaving you guys for him. What would I even say—”

”You know you need to talk to him. This is your chance. Go,” Alois gave Ciel a tight hug, “we’ll be fine.”

Once Alois broke the hug, Ciel took a deep breath and gave his friend a small nod. Then, he started making his way towards Sebastian, who was already halfway across the dancefloor.

And so Jack and Sally make their way across the dancefloor towards each other, the moving spotlights hitting them just enough to keep track of where the other was. Ciel felt his heart, his very soul, pulling him in Sebastian’s direction. Ciel felt like he had no choice but to follow. It was as if there was a magnetic pull between the two, they simply had to go where their hearts led them.

Finally they stand before each other, staring into each other’s eyes as if it had been years since they have been in contact. Sebastian finally closes the mere inches of distance by extending his hand out to Ciel.

”Ciel,” Sebastian starts as he hesitantly takes Ciel’s hand when he doesn’t flinch away, “I think we should talk.”

Ciel tries to control his shaking and takes a deep breath before he says, “I agree.”

Sebastian gives Ciel a small smile despite how clearly nervous he was. “Shall we go to the café across the street? It should be quieter there.”

And so the two push through the crowd, hands still linked so that they would not lose each other, and head towards the cozy little café nearby.

…

It’s a bit awkward at first when Ciel and Sebastian sat across from each other at a booth in the corner of the café. Ciel kept fidgeting and fiddling with his hands as Sebastian kept looking anywhere but at Ciel.

Sebastian finally spoke, still not looking at Ciel, but he spoke. Baby steps were good, Ciel supposed. “I’m truly sorry for the way that I’ve been treating you. I know that my behavior has probably been confusing.”

Ciel looks up at Sebastian in shock at his words. “No, Sebastian. You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have yelled at you the way I did before.” Ciel bit his lip as he considered whether or not to continue with his thoughts. He decided to go ahead, he might as well get it off his chest. “…Though I guess I could say that you have been a little confusing.”

Sebastian looked up at Ciel then, his eyes smoldering with… _regret_? Or was that… _longing_? Ciel couldn’t tell.

”Ciel…I have to admit, I just hated seeing you with Claude. I don’t know what came over me, but I couldn’t help but try to get you away from him,” Sebastian sighed before he continued, “I know you got upset when I said this before, but you have to know. It's just that...you're not that type of person, Ciel. You're nothing like Claude. You’re so much better, and you could do so much better than him as a partner."

There was a long pause. After what seemed like several minutes, Ciel pursed his lips and asked, “How do you know?”

Sebastian contemplated his next words for a moment before he said, "Even though I've only known you for a short while, I feel like..."

”Like…?” Ciel pushed.

"…Like we have this connection."

Ciel eyes went wide as he took in Sebastian’s words. So these feelings weren’t all in his head after all…

Sebastian took Ciel’s silence as a bad sign and immediately recoiled, “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. That was wrong of me—“

Sebastian’s thoughts then fluttered away as he felt Ciel’s hand in his own. “It’s okay. I feel the same,” Ciel said with a small yet warm smile. Now it was Sebastian’s turn to blush.

Ciel bit his lip as he brushed his thumb against the back of Sebastian’s hand, memorizing every rivet and line. “What are we going to do?” Ciel suddenly looked very sad as he uttered the words, incredibly all too aware of their predicament.

Sebastian squeezed Ciel’s hand as he practically whispered, “That’s a good question.” Sebastian finally had the answer to the question he had he asking for months. Just a few short seconds ago, he had felt as if he could fly. But now, he had no choice but to face that difficult reality that was his own. His moment of happiness with Ciel was fleeting, and it tore at his heart so.

Sebastian loved Hannah, he really did. But there was just _something_ about Ciel that made him never want to be apart from him. Ciel was like a breath of fresh air after feeling as if he has had his head under water for far too long. He wished that there was a straight path to follow that would lead him to the right decision. And he certainly didn’t want to bring others down or hurt anyone in the process of his decision, but it seemed to be inevitable.

The same questions had been gnawing at his brain for months. _Should I just stay with what makes me comfortable? Or should I follow where my heart seems to be telling me to go? Am I willing to take that leap of faith and embrace something new?_

Sebastian knew the answers to these questions, in truth, but was he willing to take action with those answers?

Ciel gazed wearily over at Sebastian as he was deep in thought. He was so relieved to finally have a sense of _validation_ for his feeling. It was truly evident now that Sebastian cared for him too. But would that really change anything? 

Ciel knew that he was not the only one who had hurtles to jump in order to enter into a relationship. And Ciel understood that Sebastian’s decision would be hard, he really did. _But the feelings were there._ As for right now, that was all that mattered to Ciel. 

What would the future hold for him and Sebastian? Ciel wasn’t sure. _But the feelings were there._

And so Ciel and Sebastian remained in this state for what seemed like hours, staring longingly into each other’s eyes as they were drowning in their own thoughts. Their entwined hands, however, were the only things keeping them afloat.

…

Little did Sebastian and Ciel know that they had an audience while they were in that little café. A looming figure peered through the café window, glasses glinting as Ciel and Sebastian’s hands first intertwined. The figure licked their lips as they decided to devise a plan.

And so the flies finally got caught in the spider’s web.


	9. The One Where Claude is a Little Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claude messes things up (kinda).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words do not even begin to describe how apologetic I am over being so late with this update. My depression had really gotten the best of me for awhile, but I've been getting better so it's all good now (hopefully). Also, if you've looked at my profile, you might have noticed that I strayed from Black Butler for a moment to obsess over Mystic Messenger by writing some one shots when I should have been updating this. For those reasons and the writing bug not biting me since likee February, I have not updated, and I am very very very very very very sorry, friends. But finals weeks is this week, and after that I'm free from all distractions other than job hunting, soooo I'm pretty much all yours :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy this (very late) new chapter!! :3

Ciel wakes up groggily the following early afternoon. For only but a moment, he feels as if he is in another world, his mind blank as a slate. Then the events of last night hit him like a truck. A bittersweet feeling twists and turns in his heart. Ciel feels the incomparable joy of a love requited, yet he feels the aching sorrow of his love being untouchable.

Ciel sighs into his pillow and further burrows himself under the covers. Maybe he just won’t leave his bed today.

Without removing his face from his pillow, Ciel blindly searches for his phone on his desk beside his bed. When he feels the phone under his grasp, he eventually exerts the energy to lift his face and check his notifications.

He had one unread text from Alois and one unread Facebook message from Sebastian.

Seeing the latter’s name made Ciel’s chest twist and tighten all the more.

So, he decided to respond to Alois’ message first. It read:

****

> **Hope you got back to your place okay! Or unless… ya know ;) Either way, I want details, bitch!!! Goodnight :D**

Ciel felt his face heat up at Alois’ insinuations, but he couldn’t help but laugh. He responded:

****

> **Haha, very funny. I got back to my place just fine, thank you.**

Mere seconds passed when Ciel’s phone buzzed to life with a new message from Alois.

****

> **Bout time you replied! Well???????**

Ciel scoffed. Should he tease Alois or just spill? He decided to go with the latter option.

****

> **Nothing really happened. We talked. We like each other. But he loves his gf. End of story.**

Writing the end of that text message hurt Ciel a lot more than he thought it would.

_We like each other. But he loves his girlfriend._

And was it really true that it was “end of story”? Ciel chewed on his lip as he recalled each and every detail of last night. In truth, neither Sebastian nor Ciel did much talking at all; they walked in silence back to Sebastian’s car so they could return to campus. They did a lot of staring intensely into each other's eyes. They couldn’t seem to bear to stop holding hands, so they continued to do so until Sebastian dropped Ciel off at the front of his apartment. But no, there was not a lot of talking. So, whether the situation was “end of story” or not was questionable, but Ciel hit “send” on his message nonetheless.

Alois replied almost instantaneously yet again, this time with three angry buzzes erupting from his phone, alerting Ciel that his friend had sent separate texts:

****

> **Wat**

****

> **So you’re giving up?**

****

> **Just like that?**

Ciel huffed in frustration. He debated whether or not it would just be better to go back to sleep instead of dealing with Alois’ scrutiny. However, he suspected that Alois was not planning on backing down at this point. To justify his suspicions, the buzzing of Ciel’s phone continued:

****

> **Seriously, Ciel?**

****

> **After everything, you’re just going to back out?**

In hopes of calming down the barrage of texts, Ciel responded:

****

> **Then what do you suggest that I do?**

Alois kept up with his tempo, answering at lightning speed:

****

> **Idk but whatever you do can’t be worse than you running away**

Alois continued.

****

> **If he’s any different to you than the other guys you’ve been screwing around with, if he means anything to you at all, then you can’t just ghost like you usually do.**

How did Alois know him so well? Ciel was not sure what his next step would be, that was true, but running away _had_ crossed his mind at one point. It was what he was best at these days. If someone wanted a relationship that was anything more than superficial, he freaked out and ran. When he got what he wanted from someone, he would cut them off completely so he wouldn’t have to deal with what comes next. And if someone didn’t give him what he wanted, well, he did the same exact thing.

But Sebastian was different.

Right?

_Right?!_

Ciel now felt more confused than before, and the knotted up feeling in his chest was certainly not helping. He then remembered that he had a message from Sebastian that he had not read yet.

He figured that his he was feeling awful enough, so what could a message from Sebastian really do? Ciel opened his Facebook Messenger app and read the message.

****

> **I’m glad we had a chance to talk. Would you actually believe me if I said that I really do care about you? Someday, I hope that I will be able to show you just how much. Sleep well, Ciel.**

Ciel had the sudden urge to scream into his pillow for ten years. _Does he not realize how perfect yet infuriating a message like that is?!_

The last thing Ciel needs is another reason to keep holding onto Sebastian. _That is, unless Sebastian were to leave—_ No. Ciel couldn’t think like that. He wanted to respect Sebastian and his relationship…Didn’t he?

But what was he supposed to do then? Could he be Sebastian’s friend? Or would he have to distance himself from the situation altogether? Ciel was unsure.

As he pondered this questions, Ciel absentmindedly went onto Sebastian’s Facebook profile and gave it a mild stalking, just to see if anything had changed since the last time he looked at it – which was probably less than 24 hours ago, but still.

Ciel’s heart stopped when he had noticed a change in Sebastian’s “About” section:

_Sebastian Michaelis is single._

_There must be some kind of error,_ Ciel thought. Just to be sure, he checked to see if Hannah’s name was still in Sebastian’s friends list.

There was no longer anyone by the name of Hannah to be found there.

Ciel was in disbelief. Was this really happening? Just yesterday Sebastian had said—

_Would you actually believe me if I said that I really do care about you? Someday, I hope that I will be able to show you just how much._

Sebastian’s message from last night interrupted Ciel’s thoughts. The words now hit him like a truck. _Is this what he meant? Is this my chance?_

All Ciel knew was that he needed to talk to Sebastian. He opened the Facebook Messenger app once more.

****

> **Can we talk?**

Too anxious to wait by his phone for a reply, Ciel jolts out of bed and goes to change out of his sweats. He hears the Messenger notification ping as he throws a clean blue and white baseball tee over his head. Ciel finishes dressing at lightning speed to read Sebastian’s message.

****

> **Outside my apartment in 5?**

Ciel’s heart flares at the thought of seeing Sebastian again, especially under these new circumstances. He sends Sebastian a quick confirmation message before he laces up his shoes and heads for the door.

On his way to the apartment, Ciel remembers to send Alois a quick reply to his messages from before.

****

> **You’re right. I’m not giving up on him.**

Just as he is about to shove his phone back into his pocket, his phone vibrates with a new text from Alois.

****

> **Damn right I’m right! Fight for your man!**

Ciel chuckles as he puts his phone away and picks up his pace. He wonders what he had ever done to deserve such good people to stand by his side.

…

When Ciel approaches the front of the apartment complex, Sebastian is already outside. Ciel’s almost sunny and hopeful mood was quickly squelched by Sebastian’s demeanor. He looked cold and tired. Ciel knew that they had stayed out late last night, but he shouldn’t look _that_ tired…

The two meet halfway in front of the tree by the complex. Sebastian’s appearance was making Ciel feel a little more cautious, but he still mustered the courage to decide to say what was on his mind.

”I saw that you’re…single now?” Ciel asked, definitely more timidly than he had originally planned.

Sebastian couldn’t seem to make eye contact with Ciel, so he glared at the sidewalk instead. Ciel eyed the other man warily. This was not the Sebastian he was with last night. This Sebastian seemed cold, bitter.

Feeling uncomfortable with Sebastian’s silence, Ciel continued, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk—“

”Hannah dumped me,” Sebastian interrupted, still staring down the sidewalk like he had a personal vendetta with the cracked concrete.

”What happened?” Ciel blurted out, his curiosity overpowering his caution.

”Apparently someone told her – she wouldn’t say who, but I have a pretty good idea who it was – that I had cheated on her last night,” Sebastian bit out.

”You,” Ciel started, dumbfounded, “you don’t think it was me who did it, do you?”

”Of course not,” Sebastian said quickly as he finally looked into Ciel’s eyes. He seemed to be saddened by Ciel’s words, but his bitterness soon returned as he began to speak once more,” Who has been a huge pain in our sides this entire time?”

Ciel thought for a moment until it struck him like the bitter November wind. “Claude.”

”Bingo,” Sebastian seethed, “And Hannah was all too quick to believe him.”

”I’m…sorry that happened, Sebastian. I really am,” Ciel said, “You’d think that there would have been more trust.”

”Well, I was kind of cheating on her in my own way, was I not?” Sebastian asked with a sad smile, his gaze now softly resting on Ciel.

Ciel looked at Sebastian quizzically as he said, “But we didn’t do anything.”

”I was already being unfaithful to her in my heart, Ciel,” Sebastian paused a moment before he continued, “Because I’ve been with you in my heart for quite some time now.”

Ciel’s cheeks burned red at the other man’s confession. This was what he had been hoping for. This was his chance to _finally_ have Sebastian. He was nervous to say what was on his mind next, but he believed that he was ready, that they were both ready.

”Well, now we can be together, right?” Ciel blurted out. His heart felt like it had stopped, however, when he gauged Sebastian’s reaction.

With wide eyes and a furrowed brow, Sebastian looked almost _offended_ by Ciel’s words. “This is not _a game,_ Ciel. I can’t just switch from one partner to another overnight.”

”I—I’m sorry,” Ciel stammered until he found his voice, “It’s just that you just said you were falling for me, so I thought that it was okay.”

Sebastian sighed. He seemed to be trying to compose himself by closing his eyes and pinching the bridge if his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Then he spoke again, much calmer this time, “You’re right, I’m sorry. I…I do care for you, Ciel, I really do. But I loved Hannah, and I might need some time before I can date again.”

Ciel bit his lip as he considered Sebastian’s words. It made sense. Perhaps he was the fool to try to push something so quickly when he himself didn’t know exactly what he wanted.

”I understand,” Ciel finally responded after a few moments of silence.

Sebastian pursed his lips as he brushed his gloved hand through his bangs. “Thank you,” he said somberly, “Listen, I think I need some time alone, so I’m going to go take a walk.” He stretched his arm out to grasp Ciel’s shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll see you later,” he said as he walked away.

Once Ciel was certain that Sebastian was at least a few yards away, he finally let his emotions take control. His cheeks suddenly felt hot as his bottom lip quivered and hot traces of tears began to form. _How could I have been so presumptuous? How could I convince myself that he’d go for me the second he was single?_

Just as he begins to lose his composure, Ciel notices something move in the corner of his eye. He looks up to see someone peering through some blinds in the apartment complex’s window. Ciel finds it odd that the window looked like it would be from Sebastian’s place…

_Claude._

The mere sight of this had set a fire inside Ciel like no other. Before he knew it, his feet were carrying him to the building’s entrance and up the stairs until he reached Sebastian’s and Claude’s floor.

Ciel’s tears were gone now, seeming to have almost evaporated due to his sheer anger at the _monster_ hiding like a _coward._

When he reached the door he was looking for, Ciel heard himself yell, “Claude!” as he banged on the door with all his might. When he received no answer, Ciel only increased his attack.

”Claude! Open the door, you bloody coward! We’re going to talk, NOW!” Ciel yelled impossibly louder as he pulverized the door with both of his fists.

Infuriated by the radio silence yet again, Ciel continued. “CLAUDE!”

”Why so brash, Ciel?” a muffled voice asks behind the heavily abused door, “Why can’t we talk like gentlemen?”

”Because you are not _worth_ the courtesy,” Ciel snarled.

”My, my. So harsh, Ciel,” the voice said mockingly.

Ciel ignored the voice’s tone and chose to persist. “What you did was _low,_ Claude. Stop fucking with our lives! Mine, Sebastian’s, Alois’—“

”Oh, what brought on this concern for Alois all of a sudden?” the voice mocked further.

”Oh, shut the hell up! You’re going to pay for all the hellish things you’ve done, mark my words, Faustus,” Ciel warns.

”What are you going to do,” Claude replies with a dark chuckle, “hurt me?”

”You’re not worth that,” Ciel states, slowly coming down from his fiery high but still maintaining the venom in his tone, “but you’ll find out. I promise you.”

”And here I thought you’d be thanking me, Phantomhive. My mistake,” Claude egged on.

Fire coursed through Ciel’s veins again as he spat out, “I dare you to open that door and say that to my face, Faustus.”

Just when Ciel was about to turn around and leave, the door clicked open.

”Be my guest,” Claude said as he peered through the slight opening.

Ciel practically bulldozes through the door and gets in Claude’s face. Their substantial height difference made Ciel’s confrontation all the more impressive.

Ciel pokes Claude’s chest as he seethes, “You know what, Claude? You can do or say whatever you want about me. But don’t you _dare_ even _think_ about coming near Sebastian, Alois, or anyone that I care about again, are we clear?” With each poke, Ciel had been pushing Claude back, so much so that his back had eventually hit the closest wall.

Claude had to admit that he was marginally intimidated. Perhaps not by Ciel’s physical abilities, but certainly by his ties as the son of the CEO of a highly influential company. However, all he could think of in the moment was his pride being harmed by this pathetic display.

Just as he was about to forcefully push the Phantomhive away, practically _glowing_ red eyes scowled at—no, _burned_ holes through him from the entrance of the apartment. The glare was made of daggers, and Claude understood that he was the target.

”I said, are we _clear_ , Claude?” Ciel bit out, quickly bringing Claude out of his terrified trance.

”O—of course,” Claude stammered as his gaze returned to the figure by the doorway.

”That’s what I thought,” Ciel huffed as he turned to leave. Once he noticed who was standing a few feet away from him, however, he quickly lost his gusto. Ciel avoided the statuesque man’s eyes as he fled the apartment complex.

”Sebas—“ Claude began.

” _Enough._ If you so much as _think_ of going near him again…well, I won’t spoil it for you.” The purely acidic tone of Sebastian’s voice made Claude feel as if his face was going to melt off down to the very bone.

Sebastian did not even wait for Claude’s response, he simply stalked off to his bedroom and collapsed into his bed.

To bring peace to his mind once more – the only thing that brought him peace anymore, really – he allowed thoughts of fiery blue eyes to flood his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will just be one more chapter/epilogue left after this! Our story is coming to an end, friends O.o What will happen next??


	10. The One Where Ciel Has to Make a Choice

November ticks by slowly, almost agonizingly so. It became the month of no calls or texts from Sebastian. It became the month of friends begging Ciel to contact Sebastian himself, even if it was simply to keep in touch – which was advice that Ciel promptly ignored. If it had not been for studying for final exams as a distraction, Ciel was pretty sure that he would have gone insane. 

Somehow, December eventually approaches, as does final exams. As Ciel packs some of his belongings for his return home for the winter break, he attempts to fight the ugly thoughts creeping into his mind. _You pushed him too hard. You scared him away. You never had a chance with him to begin with. You are not enough._

However, the thoughts often win.

Ciel seals the large cardboard box labeled “clothes” with duct tape with a deep sigh. He sits on top of the box with his face in his hands. It was _definitely_ not what he was planning for his senior year of college, being heartbroken beyond recognition _yet again._

Ciel had to admit, however, that there were some positive aspects to this semester. He had developed a new appreciation for his friends that he never had before. Ciel was unsure of what he would do without the support and unfailing loyalty of his friends. He might be a mess, but Alois, Grell, and William helped make him a controlled mess.

So this semester wasn’t a complete waste.

Breaking his train of thought, Ciel’s phone suddenly vibrated to life on his bedroom desk, showing the name “Alois Trancy” in bold, bright letters on the screen.

Ciel immediately picked up, asking, “Alois, what’s up?”

 _”Ciel! Are you in your apartment at the moment?”_ Alois inquired enthusiastically.

”I am. Why do you ask?” Ciel replied quizzically.

 _”Hmm no particular reason!”_ Alois gushes before he gasps, _“Oh, would you look at the time? I’ve got to run! Talk to you later, bitch!”_ Then he hung up.

Ciel stared at his phone incredulously for a while until he heard a knock at his door. He walked up to the front door and opened it to find a certain Sebastian Michaelis standing there.

_Well that’s the last time I answer the door without using the peephole._

”Ciel,” Sebastian said breathlessly, his nose still red from the bitter chill outside. He seemed to be hardly bundled up at all; he wore an open black peacoat with a red hanging loosely from his neck.

”S—Sebastian,” Ciel stuttered, “what are you doing here?”

”Uh, well, where do I start?” Sebastian pondered as he looked Ciel over and took in his visage as if he were a man who was banished to the desert and was encountering water for the first time in ages. “I’m sorry that we haven’t spoken for a while.”

This struck a nerve with Ciel, helping him find his inner fire once more. “We haven’t? Pity, I haven’t noticed,” he lied with a venomous tone.

Sebastian pursed his lips before he continued, “I—I guess I deserved that. I truly am sorry. I just didn’t want to string you along.”

 _Here we go,_ Ciel thought. He was almost certain that this was the moment he had been dreading all this time. Sebastian was going to drop kick him into the abyss.

Sebastian went on further, “I wanted to be over Hannah and what happened with her before talking to you about this again.”

Ciel gulped as he fixated his stare on a particular tile in the hallway floor. He braced himself as best he could until the final blow would hit.

”Because you deserve the best, Ciel,” Sebastian explained, “and you deserve my full attention. I want you to know that you’re my priority, not just anybody’s sloppy seconds.”

Ciel looked up in shock. _What?_

”What?” Ciel managed to express.

”Well…I care for you, Ciel. And I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t,” Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck with his hand as he continued, “But if you’re still willing to have me, I’m ready now.” Now it was Sebastian’s turn to stare at the floor.

A flurry of emotions simultaneously attacked Ciel in this moment. He was _enraged_ that Sebastian had the audacity to not speak to him for a month to only come back and say _he’s_ ready to date now. He was _annoyed_ – yet somehow touched – that Alois butt into his love life. He was _overjoyed_ that Sebastian wanted him. He was _saddened_ by the idea that Sebastian could think he wouldn’t want him. He was _confused_ about what he wanted in general.

Somehow, all of that consideration translated into a simple “Okay.”

”However…I have a proposal,” Sebastian started, biting his lip as he stowed up his courage to look into Ciel’s eyes again.

”…It’s either all or nothing. Ciel, I care for you – oh _God_ , words cannot describe what I feel for you – but I can’t have a fling. I need you to be 100% in this as much as I am,” Sebastian searched Ciel’s eyes as he continued, “No more of this casual business. I want to be _with_ you.”

Ciel stared off into the distance blankly, considering Sebastian’s “proposal.” Is this something that he would want? A steady relationship with Sebastian? While the concept itself made his heart feel like it was going to burst, it also struck him with fear.

It struck him with fear that this would mean letting someone into his heart again, fear that he would be painfully vulnerable once more. Sebastian could tear his heart into pieces if he chose it. The mere idea made Ciel want to collapse into himself and never let anyone near him again.

_But wasn’t Sebastian worth it? To at least give it a try?_

Ciel pursed his lips as he considered his options. He searched Sebastian’s hopeful yet fearful gaze, praying that the right answer could be found in their sanguine sublimity.

But nothing is ever that easy.

...Nothing worthwhile, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the epilogue after this :) Are you ready?


	11. The One Where There’s an Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here's the epilogue that ended up being way longer (and smuttier) than anticipated :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexy times ahead ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ciel rubs the sleep from his eyes as he wakes on a bright Sunday in May. Rays of early morning sunlight decorate the walls of the apartment bedroom. Despite the mild humidity in the late spring air, Ciel pulls the covers closer to his body as he buries his face in his pillow in hopes of the drowsiness of sleep finding him once more.

That is, until he feels the arm wrapped around his torso tighten and a trail of kisses travel from his neck to his back.

It appears that there are other plans in store for him that morning.

Ciel begrudgingly lifts his head from the pillow to look at the man beside him in bed. The man’s eyes sparkle in the bright morning light, almost as if they were on fire. And, somehow, the fire in the man’s eyes seems to immediately warm Ciel’s heart.

Ciel reaches out to move the raven locks out of his lover’s face with his hand. His action is met with a firm, statuesque hand holding his own to grace it with a kiss.

Overcome by the sweet display, Ciel wraps his arms around his lover and kisses him deeply, completely disregarding morning breath or his grogginess from the lack of caffeine or sugar in his system as he usually does when he wakes every day. The lover in question does not seem to mind this sudden straying from routine much, either.

Their kiss is lazy and slow, with rough lips crashing together and wet tongues exploring each other’s mouths.

”Sebastian,” Ciel moans softly when the two finally come up for air.

Sebastian practically growls at the way Ciel says his name, smirking devilishly as he considers his next move. It was insane how quickly Ciel could turn him on like this.

How convenient that they both were naked from the previous night’s festivities.

Sebastian then dives into Ciel’s neck with a rough bite, causing Ciel to moan more loudly. Sebastian then laves his tongue over the bite mark before descending onto his lover’s chest with expertly. He swirls his tongue around one of Ciel’s nipples, eliciting delicious gasps and mewls from the man underneath him.

Seeming to be satisfied with this reaction, Sebastian then tends to Ciel’s other nipple with a gentle nip followed by soothing ministrations with the use of his skilled tongue. This is rewarded with the gorgeous image of a flustered Ciel biting his lip while stifling his moans, grinding his pelvis into Sebastian’s with abandon.

Sebastian looks up at his lover with a mischievous glint in his eyes as he purrs, “Shall we go further?”

 _Oh God, YES,_ Ciel wants to scream. However, he knows that there are some – _apparently_ – more pressing matters to attend to today. His eyes flit to the two black graduation gowns hanging in the opened closet before he glances at the alarm clock on the desk by the bed.

They had time.

Not a lot of it.

But enough.

Seeming to be reading Ciel’s mind, Sebastian adds, “We can _make_ time.” With that he plants a wet kiss right below Ciel’s navel, making him shiver with want.

As an indication of his approval, Ciel pulls Sebastian up to eye level and kisses him hungrily. Sebastian hums with pleasure as he meets his lover’s kisses with equal desire. Teeth are clashing and lips are bitten as the men grope each other underneath the covers.

Sebastian eventually kicks the covers off the bed entirely as he firmly wraps his hand around Ciel’s member and begins to pump it vigorously. Ciel groans as he grips the sheets for dear life. Sebastian massages Ciel’s tip with his thumb as he continues his ministrations, causing Ciel’s cock to leak precum over Sebastian’s hand.

Sebastian then brings his mouth to Ciel’s cock and laps at the tip, tasting his lover’s essence before slowly swirling his tongue around the tip as he looks up at the other man seductively. Without warning, Sebastian plunges his mouth onto Ciel’s hard member, taking it whole in one swift movement.

Ciel cries out as Sebastian thrusts his cock in and out of his mouth rapidly, repeatedly hitting the back of his throat. Sebastian still makes sure to use his tongue to apply pressure to the underside of his shaft, swirling and laving at it mercilessly. He even fondles Ciel’s testicles with reckless abandon; it seemed as if Sebastian’s sole mission was to have Ciel fall apart in his hands. 

Ciel could see himself doing just that very soon.

”Sebas—“ Ciel warns before he is interrupted by one of his own moans.

Sebastian hums in acknowledgment – which does not help Ciel’s case at all since it only pushes him even closer to the edge. Sebastian releases Ciel’s cock with a pop and meets his lover with a fervent kiss. “Can I make love to you?” he purrs, his voice a little lower and raspier than before.

Ciel nips at Sebastian’s earlobe and licks at where his teeth once were before he whispers into the shell of his lover’s ear, “Yes, please.”

With a smirk, Sebastian climbs off the bed and opens his desk drawer to grab a small bottle of lubricant and a condom. As he returns to the bed, Ciel starts to turn his body around to prepare. Sebastian, however, tenderly touches his arm and implores with an adoring glint in his eyes, “I want to see you.”

Ciel feels his heart burst as he meets Sebastian’s loving gaze. Overcome by emotion, he pulls Sebastian in again for a long and passionate kiss. The kiss is only broken when they need oxygen to fill their lungs once more.

Sebastian then pours some lubricant onto his fingers as Ciel lies on his back with a pillow propping up his hips. Sebastian probes Ciel’s entrance with two fingers, slowly scissoring his fingers to help Ciel prepare for his size.

Ciel rocks against the movement of Sebastian’s fingers, groaning softly as he begs, “More, Sebastian.”

His lover complies with pleasure, adding a third finger into Ciel’s entrance and thrusting his fingers harder and deeper than before. Ciel expresses his approval by moaning louder and he grinds down on the other man’s fingers with fervor.

”Mm, Sebastian,” Ciel pleads, his voice dripping with lust, “—ah, take me.”

”As you wish,” Sebastian purrs as he removes his fingers from Ciel’s entrance and puts on his condom. He then takes his shaft and slowly presses into Ciel. Both men gasp at the sheer sensation of finally becoming one.

”Fuck, you’re so tight,” Sebastian keens as he begins to thrust deep inside Ciel.

Ciel responds by wrapping his legs around Sebastian’s waist, pulling him in deeper. He meets Sebastian’s thrusts with thrusts of his own, his ass grinding down against Sebastian’s pelvis with full force.

Despite how hard both men were going at it, their pace remains relatively slow. They take the time to gaze into each other’s eyes, to drink each other in as they share such an intimate moment. They recognize what they went through just to be where they are.

They understand that, against all odds, this was where they are meant to be.

Both soon feel themselves come undone, with sweat beading off their naked bodies and the synchronized rhythm of their thrusts lost to the wind.

”Sebastian—ah, I’m going to cum!” Ciel cries out seconds before his seed paints abdomen.

”Ciel—fuck, oh God, Ciel,” Sebastian shouts as he follows suit mere seconds later, spilling into his lover until he feels himself go completely soft.

Sebastian then collapses by Ciel’s side on the bed and holds him tightly in his arms. He kisses his lover’s sweaty forehead and murmurs, “I love you.”

Ciel looks up at Sebastian with a feigned air of smugness. “I know,” he says with a pompous smirk. Sebastian merely rolls his eyes and chuckles lightly before Ciel relents. “And I love you,” then he scrunches his nose as he notices a bead of sweat drip from a lock of Sebastian’s hair, “I’d love you more, however, if you weren’t so sweaty.”

Sebastian quirks his brows as he offers with innuendo, “That can be amended,” he nods in the direction of the bathroom door, “Care to join me?”

Ciel smirks deviously as he replies, “Round two? Already?”

Sebastian chuckles as he quips with a wink, “What can I say, I’m just one hell of a lover.”

Ciel rolls his eyes as the two head into the shower. As they take their unceremoniously long shower, however, Ciel receives quite a few text messages from Alois:

****

> **Ciel**

****

> **Ciel, I know you’re not sleeping you perve**

****

> **Graduation is in like 30 minutes**

****

> **Don’t make me come find you**

****

> **Well anyway ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

****

> **I just wanted to say that I’m glad we’re best friends again**

****

> **And that you’ve found someone who treats you right and won’t cause you to go on any ho rampages or any of that shit**

****

> **Fuck. Look at me getting all sentimental**

****

> **I just want to say that I’m proud of you…bitch**

****

> **But seriously though, you didn’t give up even when things seemed impossible. I’m proud of you**

****

> **And that goes for anyone else who might be reading this message too :) Thank you for holding on**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd that's all, folks!! I hope you enjoyed my little breaking of the fourth wall at the end ;)
> 
> But anyway, I just wanted to thank those who have supported me throughout the course of me writing this fic, I am forever grateful for your input as well as your patience.
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed this fic despite it being one hell of a mess ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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